So Wrong
by Jimaine Szardos
Summary: 100 years ago Shuuhei doesn't go home when Kensei tells him to and gets caught up in everything and by the time anyone notices that he's there it's too late and they decided the best option is to take him with them.  Teenage Shuuhei/Kensei
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** So Wrong Chapter 01  
><strong>Paring:<strong> Muguruma Kensei/Hisagi Shuuhei  
><strong>Rating:<strong> NC-17  
><strong>Labels:<strong> M/M, Yaoi, Anal, Lemon, Minor (15), AT  
><strong>Chapters:<strong> 03  
><strong>Word Count:<strong> 12075  
><strong>Pages:<strong> 21  
><strong>Continuation:<strong> Yes, I have the next few chapters completely written and I am currently editing them. I also have a total of 8 chapters partially written.  
><strong>Beta:<strong> None  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I do not own Bleach nor do I make any money off of this.  
><strong>Summery:<strong>100 years ago Shuuhei doesn't go home when Kensei tells him to and gets caught up in everything and by the time anyone notices that he's there it's too late and they decided the best option is to take him with them.

Kensei hated that the kid was living with them. He hated it more than he could really explain. The damn brat hadn't listened to him and had managed to get caught up in all of it. But the worst part was that he was too young to even begin to understand what had transpired that night.

Kensei sighed and shook his head looking over to the side. _'No.'_ He thought. _'That's not the worse part.'_ It was the way he looked at him all the time, with those damn eyes of his. So clear and bright. He followed him around like a puppy and Kensei couldn't say that he entirely hated it anymore. Last week Shuuhei had spent several days with Urahara and Kensei had found himself missing the little pitter-patter of feet following him everywhere he went.

He found that somehow over the few years they'd already been here that he liked the kid, or at lest the person he seemed to be turning into. He looked over his shoulder to see the dark hair peeking out from around the corner. Kensei rolled his eyes. "Oi kid." Shuuhei jumped and gasped in surprise and being seen. "Come 'ere."

He gave the man a odd sort of dubious look before he made his way over to his side. He was already 15 but still a fair bit shorter than Kensei. Though he seemed to be growing like a weed lately. Every time he turned around the kid was even taller. At this rate he might just grow to surpass him in height. He was still skinny as hell though. Whenever he started to put on weight he had another growth spurt and was back to looking like a rail.

Shuuhei stopped just short of where Kensei stood and looked up at him, his grey eyes poking out from beneath black bangs. He didn't say anything and Kensei hadn't expected him too. He often didn't say much, at lest not around him. Though he'd heard from Rose and some of the others that when he wasn't around, Shuuhei was actually quite talkative, or that he could be. Shinji had commented on his sense of humor and the fact that he laugh all the time. Kensei had never seen him laugh. He barely even heard him speak in the last six years. He'd honestly done his best to ignore the boy. But that seemed more and more impossible to him.

He knew that his voice had changed. From the few times he did speak around him. It was no longer that whinny little tone but instead deeper, stronger. He was honestly becoming a bit jealous of the relationship he seemed to be developing with all the others. He was the one the kid followed around all the time.

Kensei studied him appraisingly. He was definitely much taller. He came up to his shoulders now. His hair was still a spiky mess of black, though it was longer, falling slightly down his neck. His eyes, he noticed, were a clear grey and you could see the boy thinking through them. He was smart, really smart and Rose was having trouble finding a tutor for him that could keep up. He'd gone through three in the last 6 months.

"Shinji says you laugh alot."

Shuuhei blinked and cocked his head to the side slightly. Then after a small pause he slowly nodded never taking his eyes off Kensei.

"I didn't know that. I don't know much of anything about you. It's cuz you're always following me around so far back. I never get a chance to know you." Shuuhei still didn't speak though he seemed to brighten even more. Kensei struggled not to roll his eyes at him again. It was difficult to deal with the kid and his hero worship. But he wanted to make the effort. He was tired of being left out of everything, well not everything but a fair number of things.

Kensei sighed. "Come with me." Turning he walked away. After a few seconds he soon heard the familiar pitter patterning of feet again and smiled softly.

* * *

><p>"Sit down." Kensei gestured at the small bed and then pulled the desk chair out and turned it around to sit on it backwards. He waited but the kid didn't say anything, he was just looking at him and fidgeting with the sleeves of his shirt. It was too big for him. It looked like something Love would wear. It probably was. They had issues keeping him in cloths that fit what with the way he was always growing. None of them really wanted to go shopping except for Mashiro and she just wasn't someone they trusted to pick out appropriate clothing. Kensei took a deep breath and sighed. "For fuck's sake say somethin'."<p>

Shuuhei jumped and seemed to unconsciously flinch. "Umm... wh-" He looked down.

Kensei groaned. "You're always followin' me around every where I go but you never talk to me. You talk to everyone else but not me. The others have all gotten close to you, they like you but I can't. It's annoying."

"Sorry..." Shuuhei shifted again uncomfortably.

"Don't... damn it don't be sorry... just fix it." He sighed in exasperation and got up from the chair. Moving across the room he sat next to the boy on the bed. "You don't have to be sorry just talk to me. I'm not gonna hurt you."

Shuuhei nodded his head. He still didn't look at him and it seemed the act of moving to sit next to him made the kid tense even more.

"Here. Could you at lest look at me?" When Shuuhei didn't move Kensei had to force himself to take a deep breath and try to remain calm. Though Shuuhei showed no sign of actually listening to him so finally he took the boy's chin in his hand and turned it towards him. He looked surprised and flinched when Kensei touched him. "There. Now, how come you never talk to me but you do to everyone else?"

Shuuhei swallowed. Kensei still hadn't let go of him and he fought not to blush. His body shook and yet he couldn't close his eyes. "I..." He took several deep breaths and it seemed as though he were fighting with something. "I... I..." Deflating in obvious resignation Shuuhei snapped his eyes shut his face growing warm.

Kensei eyed him and noticed the slight blush on his cheeks. The way the kid always looked at him, especially lately... and he was 15 now... Kensei sighed and let him go. But Shuuhei didn't move. He just sat there like that his face turned up at him and his eyes tightly shut. Again Kensei raised his hand and this time ran his thumb down the boy's face. He was soft... Kensei thought. Opening his palm he cupped the brunette's cheek in the hollow of his palm and stroked slowly with his thumb.

Shuuhei felt like he couldn't breath. He felt faint, light headed. That felt so nice.

Kensei watched as a shiver ran through the kid's body. It made him smile. "You're pretty cute kid."

Shuuhei gasped at that. There was no way... But opening his eyes he saw how he was looking at him and his blushed doubled.

Watching Shuuhei's face Kensei noticed when he opened his eyes again and his blush got worse. Smiling he brought his other hand up and traced the far side of Shuuhei's face running his fingers along the kid's jaw and then down to his neck. He watched as his body shook and his breathing picked up. There wasn't even a question in his mind anymore. He knew now why Shuuhei never talked to him. "You've got a crush on me... don't ya kid? That's why ya always follow me around but never talk to me."

Shuuhei felt his face burning. Immediately he pulled back and turned away. He'd been caught. He knew how he felt now. What was he going to do? What if he wanted him to leave now... what if... He didn't want to go somewhere else... he wanted to stay here, with his friends... with him.

"Hey..." Kensei's brow furrowed as the kid pulled back from him. "Look at me." Shuuhei didn't comply so Kensei grabbed him again, one hand on his chin like before and he used his other to grab one of Shuuhei's wrists so he could turn his body. "What's goin' on?"

"You... but..." Shuuhei swallowed hard. "Please don't send me away."

Kensei actually felt his mouth fall open. "Send you away? Why the hell would I do somethin' like that?"

"Be... because... because I..." He couldn't breath right. His chest hurt. He didn't want to go away. "Shinji-san said that if you... he said I couldn't tell you because you'd be angry and you'd make me leave."

"Tha-" Kensei fought not to growl. "I ain't gonna send you away. Even if I wanted to at this point I think the rest of 'em wouldn't allow it. Everyone here likes ya too much for that. You're not gonna get sent away. Okay?"

Shuuhei nodded and felt relief sweep through him. But that didn't change the fact that he'd been found out. Kensei finally released his hold on Shuuhei's face though he kept a hold of his wrist.

"So it's true then. You like me?" Pulling back Shuuhei lifted his legs to the bed and wrapped his free arm around his shins. He rested his head on his knees and slowly nodded once.

Kensei shook his head and damn near chuckled. "You think I'm mad at you now?"

Again the boy nodded.

"I'm not." He ran his hand down Shuuhei's wrist where he'd been holding him before. When he got to the back of his hand he turned the kid's over and slipped his fingers against Shuuhei's.

The boy seemed shocked and he snapped his head up to look at Kensei, his eyes huge. This time Kensei did chuckle. "You should see your face kid. What did you think I was gonna do huh?"

Slowly Shuuhei lowered his eyes and shrugged once. "I thought you'd be mad at me..."

"I'm not mad. I don't really know as it would be appropriate. But I'm not mad."

Shuuhei nodded. "I know... I don't..." He paused for a very long time and put his head back down on his knees. "I know." He didn't pull his hand away though, Kensei noticed. "I'm not what... I'm not what you'd want..."

Kensei actually laughed this time much to Shuuhei's shock. "That ain't it kid. It's the fact that you're pretty much still a baby."

Shuuhei bristled next to him. "I'm not a baby!" He shouted. "I'm 15! I'm not a baby!"

With a final huff of laughter Kensei scooted back further on the bed until he was centered on it sitting cross legged. Then with the hand he still had holding Shuuhei's he pulled the kid forward. Shuuhei found himself off balance and Kensei moved to grab his shoulder and turn him so his back was facing him. Then he wrapped that arm around his front and pulled him back into his lap and put his other arm around Shuuhei's waist holding him there.

Shuuhei had that same feeling he had before. He couldn't breath. He was dizzy. He was starting to hyperventilate.

Kensei bent forward to whisper into the kid's ear. "Yes. You are. Otherwise you wouldn't freak out like this when I pulled you into me. You're still too young to know what to do with it. That's not a bad thing. You have alot of things to experience and you should do them with someone closer to your own age. You couldn't handle the kinds of things I would want in a relationship."

Shuuhei stiffened again. He clenched his fist at his sides and turned over his shoulder. "You surprised me!"

"Is that all?" Kensei asked smiling.

"Yes." He looked indignant. "I'm not a dumb kid you know. I can handle anything you'd do to me."

"Oh can you?" Kensei said a little bemused.

"Yes!"

He bent forward and with one hand pressed to Shuuhei's cheek, he kissed him. The kid froze completely. He didn't move he didn't kiss back he just froze. When Kensei pulled back he was still smiling. "I don't think so."

Shuuhei finally came back to himself and closed his eyes. He felt embarrassed now. But he knew he could do it. If he just stopped surprising him he'd be fine. When he opened his eyes and looked up he saw that grin and it made him angry. Shuuhei snapped.

With a surge he pushed up and grabbed Kensei with both arms around his neck. He pulled himself up and slammed their lips together again.

This time it was Kensei's turn to be surprised. He hadn't expected the kid to do something like that. He smiled though and put his arms around the teenager and pulled him back as he leaned on the headboard. This time Shuuhei matched him. When Kensei pulled him back he didn't even flinch he just laid himself down on Kensei's chest and kissed him all the harder. Soon he was opening his mouth against Kensei's and moaning softly into the kiss. Without even thinking about it Kensei slipped his tongue into the boy's mouth and tightened his grip around his waist when he tasted the sweetness.

Shuuhei moaned quietly feeling the tongue and pressed his own against it. His full weight was laying on the man beneath him now and he could feel every muscle as they pressed into his body. Shifting his legs he pulled them up onto the bed and then laid them out behind him. He pulled himself up until he was leaning down against the man kissing him.

Kensei groaned when Shuuhei shifted over top of him. The kid had his legs between his now and was pressing down on him. He felt the top of Shuuhei's thigh against his crotch and fought not to rock into it. Things were getting out of hand. But when he tried to pull Shuuhei back the kid wouldn't have it. He latched onto his hair with both hands and continued kissing Kensei over and over again. He didn't really seem inclined to stop. As he shifted again Kensei felt his eyes roll back in his head. Damn he was putting pressure an all the right places and he didn't even know what he was doing. He gripped tightly to those skinny hips and willed his body to push the other away but somewhere lost his ability to do so. Instead he found his hands pulling up on Shuuhei's shirt until it came untucked from his pants. He didn't stop there either. Pulling up the cloth his hands found their way underneath to touch the delicate skin beneath. He was so soft his fingers glided over him like he were ice, only warm... his skin was so warm...

Shuuhei's lips hurt, and his mouth was sore. But he didn't stop kissing. It was amazing. He never thought something like kissing could be as big a deal as everyone seemed to make it. But with every press of his lips he felt butterflies in his stomach. He briefly noticed the man beneath him try to push him back but he wouldn't let him. He didn't want to stop. He was afraid that if it stopped then it would never start again. So he grabbed onto the white hair and felt the pressure against his hips stop. When the hands moved away completely he was afraid that Kensei would do something else to pull him back. But he didn't. He started tugging at his shirt and then he felt those hands on his skin. It made him shudder. Kensei had such large hands. They wrapped almost all the way around his waist. Then they were pulling, not pushing. He was pulling him closer and he heard a groan. He liked it! He liked Shuuhei kissing him. Shifting again to get better purchase he dove down tilting his head to get an even deeper kiss. Again he heard that groan and he was almost shaking from it. He really liked it!

Kensei was going crazy. The kid needed to stop squirming around like that between his legs. Still he didn't try to push him away again. Instead he allowed his hands to travel upward along the smooth skin of Shuuhei's back until he came to his shoulders. Once there he pulled down and pressed himself up to once again take control of the kiss.

Gasping Shuuhei sunk down easily against the other's body. Those hands ran down his skin again, this time along his sides and he couldn't help the sound he made. That touch made him shiver. He wanted to do more. He tried to think back to the few times he'd seen one of the others doing this type of thing. It wasn't very helpful though because they'd stopped taking people home with them less then a year after they'd gotten here. What little he had seen was somewhat fuzzy now. But there were also the magazines he'd 'borrowed' from Lisa-san. He tried to think back to the pictures. An idea struck him and he shifted again drawing his arms down to rest them along Kensei's chest. He moved his lips outward, away from the other's mouth and then down towards the jaw line.

Kensei felt his eyes falling close as Shuuhei moved again. He was moving his lips, away... down... Kensei moaned softly when they tickled against his jaw. But Shuuhei didn't stop there. He sunk down further all the way to the end of his jaw and then pressed his lips to Kensei's neck. His hands gripped more tightly on Shuuhei's body in an attempt to find his sanity again. His neck was one of his weak points. What the hell was happening? What was he letting happen? But when Shuuhei traveled further, when he started nibbling... those tentative lips, curiously exploring his body, that made Kensei fucking hot.

Kensei sat up again and put one of his hands into the dark messy hair and drew Shuuhei back up to his lips. He used his other hand to grip the back of one of Shuuhei's thighs. When he'd sat up he force Shuuhei back to rest on his knees. Now he pulled him up so that his thighs no longer touched his calves and then lifted up and out. He forced Shuuhei's leg over his own so that there was only one leg between his. Then he pulled forward on the lower part of the brunette's back thrusting him forward against his stomach.

Shuuhei gasped loudly when Kensei started moving him. When he pulled him forward he couldn't help the moan at how he was being pressed into the older man. He bent his neck down completely and put both of his hands to Kensei's face as he kissed him.

Kensei looked up at the kid and watched how the messy hair framed Shuuhei's features. It was beautiful. Closing his eyes again he reached up and put his hand to the back of Shuuhei's neck to keep him down against his lips. Then he went back to his thigh with his other hand. This time he grabbed the back of the leg Shuuhei still had between his own. He did the same thing he had with the other and pulled it out and over his leg to rest on the other side effectively making Shuuhei straddle him. Then he grabbed both of Shuuhei's hips and pulled.

He felt himself get pulled down and suddenly they were almost even again. Though Shuuhei's face was actually slightly lower than Kensei's so he tilted his head up to get a better kiss. But the older man didn't seemed entirely satisfied with that. He put his hand on Shuuhei's ass and jerked forcefully bringing Shuuhei's hips forward against him. What he felt made him moan. There was something against him now... a hard bulge pressing into his body... had he really gotten the older man so aroused? When Kensei squeezed his ass again Shuuhei actually tossed his head back. He'd never been touched like this. He'd never been touched at all and now... everything was moving so fast, so suddenly.

Kensei growled and launched forward at Shuuhei's neck. He wanted to go lower but the shirt collar was in his way. Instead of bothering with the buttons he put his free hand to one side and pulled. The shirt ripped open with a shocked gasp from the boy above him. But he didn't pull away so Kensei continued. He kissed lower and lower and when he felt he'd gone far enough down he opened his mouth wide placing it against Shuuhei's skin and sucked. He squeezed his hand where it still lay on Shuuhei's ass and brought his other up to the back of the kid's neck and pulled his body into his lips.

Shuuhei closed his eyes and moaned. He tried to be quite though. If the others found them like this they might make him stop. He didn't want it to stop. He wanted to prove that he was old enough for this. He wanted to prove to Kensei that he could do it. Then maybe... maybe he'd want him too.

Jerking forward Kensei brought Shuuhei's body flush against his own once more. He moved his hand back from his ass and slipped it in carefully under the boy's pants. When he felt the soft skin his fingers dug in. He moved his lips again down along Shuuhei's collar bone and shoulders. Simultaneously he moved his other hand down from the brunette's neck to his upper back holding him closely. Every time he readjusted his grip Shuuhei fell back away from him slightly which made him clench him all the tighter when he'd finished repositioning. Once he'd reached Shuuhei's chest he started biting. The body he held jerked but settled quickly. So quickly Kensei didn't even register the motion.

He grabbed tightly on one ass cheek and then pulled upward until Shuuhei was sitting up as much as he could be. This brought his chest and stomach more level with Kensei's mouth. The shirt was still buttoned on the bottom so Kensei removed both of his hands and took up each side of the shirt. He pulled it the rest of the way open and since he had his hands free for the moment, he moved onto the pants too. He didn't even bother with the buttons he just ripped, exactly like he'd done with the shirt.

Shuuhei gasped and his eyes shot open. Everything was going so fast. It was so much faster than he'd been expecting. And now... now that he felt his cloths getting ripped off of him he felt scared. Why was he scared?

Once the pants were open Kensei put his hands back where they had been previously. He squeezed and manipulated Shuuhei's ass and let his fingers slip between the cheeks. He rubbed carefully at the opening there but didn't penetrate. He just wanted to tease, let it be know what he eventually wanted.

Shuuhei felt his breath come harshly. His body started shaking. Things were moving too fast. _'No.'_ He shook his head. He wasn't going to wimp out now. He'd told Kensei he could take it and damn it he was going to do anything the other wanted. He was going to prove that he could.

Kensei went back to kissing at the body in front of him. It tasted so good. He wrapped one of his arms entirely around the lean hips and tugged them forwards against him. Withdrawing his other hand he put his fingers in his mouth and sucked for just a few seconds before returning the hand to where it had been previously, slipped down the boy's pants. He had more room, now that they were open in the front, and he planed to take advantage of that. Slipping his fingers once more between the cheeks he found the entrance he'd been stroking before. Pushing harder on it, this time he fully intended to breach it.

Shuuhei closed his eyes tightly and put his hands to Kensei's shoulders. This was happening... it was really happening. He'd dreamt of this. He'd been thinking about it almost non stop for the past year and a half. He wanted it so badly and yet still he was scared. Why was he always so scared of everything? There was nothing here to be scared of!

Kensei pushed in and closed his eyes from the heat and tightness around his finger. He rested his face forward against the side of Shuuhei's hip. Even with how tight the kid was the digit slipped in smoothly. He didn't wait though, once he'd pushed in all the way to his last knuckle he immediately pulled it back out and then shoved back in. He didn't go slow. He didn't allow time for adjustment. He just started fucking him roughly with his finger.

Shuuhei gasped and moaned. It was so fast... he was moving so fast inside of him. He'd done that to himself before but never that fast. He always went slower. But it felt good. Then the finger started wiggling rapidly back and forth and Shuuhei lurched forward bending himself over the body beneath him. He was panting and had to fight with himself not to moan. He didn't want to get caught.

With each intrusion Kensei made he felt those hips press forward against his body. But he started wiggling when he realized just that wasn't enough to loosen Shuuhei up. Though he'd never been a patient man so soon he was shoving his second finger inside of him. The entry wasn't as smooth as with just the one but the body he was intruding didn't pull away so he kept going.

Shuuhei bit his lip. It was uncomfortable and actually started to hurt. But he didn't pull away. He was afraid that if he voiced any concern he'd break the moment and then Kensei wouldn't keep going. He just had to hope that eventually he'd get used to it. He could do this.

Kensei groaned as his fingers slipped all the way in. It was so damn tight. He couldn't imagine how that would feel around his cock. This time he waited. He gave time for adjustment. If he'd been thinking it would have occurred to him that Shuuhei was a virgin and he probably would have allowed more time... though... if he'd really been thinking then he wouldn't be doing this in the first place.

Gasping Kensei started to draw his fingers back. At first the body he was pulling them from followed but he held Shuuhei's hips tightly and pulled them in towards himself forcing the separation. He didn't pull them all the way out though. He hesitated for a brief second with just the tips of his fingers inside of him before slowly pushing back in. Feeling the arch of Shuuhei's back over his arm he smiled. He did it again and then again. He'd soon found a slow, predictable rhythm that had the boy above him panting and gasping for breath.

He clenched his fingers around Kensei's shoulders tightly. It hurt. _It hurt._ But he didn't say stop. Even if it hurt he wasn't going to say stop. He could do this. Shuuhei clenched his jaw tightly shut. He could do this.

Kensei kissed at Shuuhei's rather prominent hip bone. He loved the taste of that skin and was soon nibbling softly at the warmth of it. As he shoved his fingers back in a little harder this time he felt nails dig into his shoulders. It made him moan softly. He started wiggling his fingers again and smiled when the teen slumped even more over top of him.

Shuuhei couldn't breath right. Why did it hurt so much? It shouldn't hurt like this. None of the people in the magazine had looked like they were in pain so why did it hurt so much? Shuuhei gasped. The fingers were suddenly gone, withdrawn from his body. _'Oh no. What if he knows it hurts. What if he stops now?'_ Shuuhei felt panic. But when Kensei jerked up and started twisting around to press Shuuhei down on the bed beneath him his heart started racing for a completely different reason. What if he didn't stop?

Kensei put his hands to the pants he'd already opened and pulled them down along with Shuuhei's underwear. When he saw the long slender cock slip out of them he licked his lips. Laying his body down fully on Shuuhei he started to kiss his neck again sucking tenderly along the collar bone. He shifted his hips and easily found his way between the teen's parted thighs and ground against him.

Shuuhei whimpered and clutched tightly to the man's shoulders. His pants were gone, he was completely naked except for the shirt which still hung from his shoulders. He bent his knees around Kensei's waist and stomach and clenched his eyes shut. He wanted this, he told himself. This was what he wanted. He couldn't back down now.

Snapping his hips forward Kensei moaned against the brunette's neck. He heard whimpers and cries above him. Each soft sound sent a breath of hot air that tickled against his hair. Reaching down he popped open the button on his own pants followed quickly by the zipper. He pulled them down just enough to get his dick out and then licked his palm and stroked himself once. He pressed kiss after kiss to Shuuhei's collar bone and positioned himself at his entrance.

Shuuhei felt heat, different from Kensei's fingers. The tip of it was blunt and it was much larger. _'Oh god! That's his... it's-'_ He didn't get any further in his thoughts when Kensei shoved into him with a snap of his hips.

Shuuhei slapped a hand over his mouth in an attempt not to scream. His whole body exploded with pain. Dear god that hurt. He could feel the tearing inside. Shuuhei tucked himself into Kensei's neck clutching him even tighter with the hand he had still on the man's shoulder. It hurt! His whole body was being stretched around Kensei and it was too much. That thing inside of him was too thick and it hurt so much he could barely keep himself from screaming. _'It hurts... it hurts...' _It wasn't supposed to be like this was it? Sex wasn't supposed to hurt this much. But this hurt. This hurt so much there was nothing Shuuhei could do but ride it out and hope the pain went away.

Kensei groaned at the heat and tightness but he felt the body he entered clench around him tightly. It made him pause. When he looked up he saw Shuuhei with his hand over his mouth and there were tears slipping slowly down his cheeks.

_'Shit.'_

Realization finally seemed to hit him. What the hell had he just done? How could he have let it go this far? Kensei took a deep breath and rested his head down on the pillow just above Shuuhei. What was wrong with him? What... what had he done? Slowly, with one arm, he curled the boy's head closer into the crock of his neck and shoulder. "Shh... It's okay... I'm sorry..." He closed his eyes and took another deep breath before he started to pull back. But in a flash hands were gripping his hips and holding him in place.

"Please... please don't stop. Please."

"Shuuhei."

"Please!"

Kensei lifted his head and looked down at the brunette. He was in tears and his body was shaking. It had to have hurt alot but the kid was doing everything he could to push that aside. He didn't have to. Kensei wasn't going to yell at him, not when he was the one who deserved to be yelled at. Of course the kid didn't know that. "Shuuhei... you... you can't still want this. Look at yourself."

"I don't care. Please, please don't stop."

"This isn't a discussion." He stared to pull back again but stopped when he saw Shuuhei flinch. He watched as the kid bit his lip and felt fingers dig in sharply against his skin. It still hurt. Just taking it out was hurting him. He'd not given him anywhere near the preparation he needed. He must have ripped him in half.

"Please. This is what I wanted..." Shuuhei cringed at the pain and dug his fingers into Kensei's back but he didn't pull away. His voice was soft and quite but he didn't let the man go. "I want you to be inside of me. I wanna do this. Please."

"Me being inside of you is what's hurting you Shuuhei."

He shook his head sending black hair flying everywhere. He couldn't let Kensei stop now, not when they were already this far. "I don't care. I want this. I can handle it. It's already feeling better. Please."

"Shuuhei..."

The boy looked up and in a second had his hands around Kensei's neck and was pulling him down into a searing kiss. "Please. We're already this far, can't we just keep going? I mean, it feels good for you right?"

He could feel the boy's body beneath him, so warm and inviting, so difficult to resist. The way Shuuhei's finger tips glided over his shoulders and pulled him back down into a kiss was almost more then Kensei could resist. Almost. "It doesn't for you."

"It will. I'm sure it will just please. I wanna make you feel good."

"Shuuhei-" He felt himself pulled down into another kiss this one even better than the previous. Kensei found his hand coming up to trace Shuuhei's cheek and he moaned softly. He learned quick that was damn sure. Then he was rocking his hips softly and Kensei broke the kiss to get air at how that made everything constrict around his cock. "Stop that," he growled. But Shuuhei didn't listen. He lifted his hips further and sunk back more quickly. "I said stop doing that."

"No." He kept his arms wrapped tightly around Kensei's neck and pulled him into another kiss. Everything burned inside of him and all he could feel was the sharp, searing pain. But he didn't want to stop. Even if it hurt the act of actually being this close to the older man made it worth it, actually being able to have the man he loved inside of him, it was that thought more than anything that made him want to keep going.

Kensei moaned. The muscles around him constricted and pulled him deeper inside the warmth of Shuuhei's body. "Damn it kid. You're gonna get me into so much trouble."

Shuuhei finally smiled.

Bending down to give the brunette another kiss Kensei stared to rock his hips. He moved very, very slowly. He knew Shuuhei was nowhere near as prepared as he should have been. He needed to take his time, be slow or else he'd make it worse. He didn't even pull back or thrust. He just rocked his hips along Shuuhei's and that was enough movement to make them both gasp. Even for a virgin he was impossibly tight.

_'Virgin.'_

Kensei wanted to hit himself. Shuuhei was a virgin. _'Not anymore you bastard,'_ he thought bitterly. But he couldn't stop now. What little will power he'd managed to summon Shuuhei had sent flying away. Oh the others were going to kill him. They were gonna kill him dead.

Shuuhei held tightly to the man above him. Slowly the pain started to subsided. He let the fingers of one hand slip into the soft white hair at the top of Kensei's neck. He cradled the back of his head and pressed the side of his face into Kensei's shoulder. It was getting better... the pain was going away, slowly, but it was going away. "Ah-a." Gasping Shuuhei arched up into the older man and felt the muscles in his body tighten with pleasure. Kensei was inside of him. Kensei was _actually_ inside of him, right now, at this moment. The man of his dreams, the man he loved had his dick buried inside his ass. Shuuhei felt another wave of ecstasy pass through him and his body tightened yet again from the pleasure of it.

Kensei put one hand on Shuuhei's hip and curled his fingers around to his back. He used the hand to shift Shuuhei's body more. It was killing him going this slow. But he could also feel every twitch and movement of Shuuhei's body beneath his own. It was amazing. He felt as Shuuhei arched his back and pressed up into him more. Just that little action took his breath away. It was unbelievable. He groaned and let his head fall down over Shuuhei's shoulder. He rocked slowly and this time pulled out the slightest bit and then sunk back just as slowly. Shuuhei gasped and clutched at him tighter around his shoulders. "It still hurt?"

He wasn't sure how to answer that. If he said yes then he might stop but if he said no he wasn't being completely honest. He elected for the middle ground and shook his head. "Unn... not so much anymore."

"Okay." Even with that he was afraid to really move. He figured Shuuhei would know when he was ready or at lest he hoped he did. If nothing else he would know when the pain had stopped. He rocked against him again and couldn't stop the groan. Everything felt so much more intense when they moved this slowly. It wasn't something he'd ever really experienced before but it was amazing. Sure he'd had slow sex before but never _this_ slow. Every slight shift of the hips or the way their bodies slipped along one another... it took his breath away every time Shuuhei made the slightest movement.

Shuuhei felt breath in his ear and a shiver went down his spine. He used the hand he still had in Kensei's hair to turn his head and looked at him. With a smile he brought his other hand up from where it rested on Kensei's shoulder and brushed his hair to the side.

Kensei fixed his eyes onto Shuuhei's face and couldn't stop his hips from their movement. He pulled out slowly... just the smallest bit, no more than an inch or two and stayed there. He watched as Shuuhei's eyes closed and he arched upward pressing his stiff cock against Kensei's stomach.

"Oh... Umm..." Shuuhei's fingers tightened on the back of Kensei's neck and he moaned. "Pp-p... pl... please... Please... m-m... m... m-more..."

Watching him Kensei felt his breath leave him. With the arm he had over Shuuhei's head he moved his fingers to play in the black hair. The way it splayed across the white pillow cases caught his attention the contrast of it was so great. "Okay..." Shifting again he sunk his cock back into Shuuhei's body making the boy gasp and bite his lip. He moved his free hand to the brunette's hips and shifted them up to get deeper. When he felt his body press fully against Shuuhei's ass his eye rolled back into his head.

"Uhhn!" Shuuhei bit his lip again, this time harder. His muscles were jumping and contracting and he gripped Kensei's shoulders tightly with both hands. He clenched but then let his breath out slowly in a rolling moan as his body relaxed.

"Do... did you like that?"

Shuuhei nodded and opened his eyes again. "Yes. I liked it alot. Do... do it again?"

Nodding his head Kensei drew his hips back again just as slowly and just as swallow as before. Though this time he hesitated longer, pausing after he drew some of himself out of Shuuhei's body. He could feel the contrast between what was inside of him and what wasn't. The tightness and the heat made him shiver and wrapping his arms tightly around the boy beneath him he sunk in again still slowly and with great care. "You... feel amazing," he said softly. Removing one hand from underneath Shuuhei he cupped the side of the brunette's face in his palm. Bending forward he kissed him tenderly and then pulled back to watch the kid once more. There was a soft pang in his heart but it was small enough he didn't register it.

Shuuhei thought he might cry hearing those words. "I'm so happy... I... I so badly wanna make you feel good." He looked up and smiled wrapping his arms around Kensei's chest.

"I... I do. What about you? Does it still hurt?"

Shuuhei shook his head and pressed up to kiss him. "No, not really. It's a little tight but... it doesn't really hurt anymore. Not like it did."

Kensei nodded. He could definitely agree with Shuuhei that things were 'tight'. He'd never felt someone like this. Of course if he'd been thinking he would have stretched Shuuhei a whole lot more before shoving his dick up his ass and he wouldn't have been so god damn tight. As Shuuhei shifted again Kensei groaned and laid down more fully on the boy drawing him into his arms. He put his head to the pillow just above Shuuhei's black hair. Taking a moment Kensei closed his eyes, then he moaned as he pulled out again. This time he went further. He pulled out at lest half of his length and once more hesitated. When Shuuhei whimpered at him and clutched his body tighter Kensei smiled and sunk back down.

"Why do you pause like that?" His words were more whined than spoken.

Shuuhei was breathing into his neck and Kensei felt his eyes roll back again. Shifting his hips several times he moaned when Shuuhei started panting against him. "Because..." Slowly Kensei made several shallow thrusts. He didn't really pull out at all, just pressed himself harder against Shuuhei's ass. The teen moaned and his fingers dug into the light colored skin. "I don't want you to be able to predict what I'm gonna do. It'll make it feel better that way." He felt a nod against his neck and rested his cheek to Shuuhei's hair.

"I don't like it when you're gone for so long."

Shuuhei's words were mumbled and when Kensei looked down he saw that the kid had a bright blush coloring his cheeks. He grinned and pulled out this time all the way to his tip. "Is that so?"

Shuuhei whined again and clutched tightly to the strong shoulders above him rumpling the material of Kensei's shirt. "Yes... It... it feels empty..."

"I see."

He sunk back into Shuuhei's body only it was so slow the teen felt like he were being tortured. "Faster..." he pleaded. "Please... please do it faster..."

"I don't think you're ready for faster." He pulled out again, this time only about half way. On his way back in he snapped his hips once but the quick thrust was so short that all it served to do was tease him. He used the same agonizingly slow pace to sink the rest of his cock back into Shuuhei's body.

"Ah! I am... please I am." Planting both of his feet firmly on the bed Shuuhei lifted himself up just enough to change Kensei's angle. "I can handle it."

Groaning Kensei put one hand back down to Shuuhei's hip. "Turn up like this." He gripped tightly and shifted the teen so that his ass stuck up more into the air and less against the bed. Then he snapped his hips once, not bothering to pull out before doing so. Already pressed against Shuuhei's ass his hips compressed the muscles to send him even deeper.

"Uh!" Shuuhei cried out and he felt spasms shoot down his arms and through his hands.

Chuckling softly Kensei finally moved his arm from resting on the pillows over Shuuhei. He put the palm of his hand beneath the brunette's head and tangled his fingers in the thick dark hair. "Look at me. I wanna watch you for this next part."

Blinking his eyes open, Shuuhei gave him a confused expression. "Next part?"

"Yeah." Nodding Kensei never took his eyes away from the boy beneath him. He pulled back almost completely again and shifted Shuuhei's hips back into the position he'd had them in a few moment's ago. Then he snapped forward sending himself deep into Shuuhei's body in an instant.

The blunt tip of his cock was thrust against Shuuhei's prostate and his eyes went wide. He couldn't stop the cry from escaping him. Upon hearing how loud he'd been Shuuhei quickly clamped his hand over his mouth and clenched his eyes shut. "What... what was that?"

Grinding down against Shuuhei's body Kensei groaned. "Your sweet spot."

"I've... I never... when I..." He was bright red all of the sudden. "I never found it before..."

Kensei smiled. "It's pretty deep so it can be hard to find with your fingers sometimes. Especially if you don't know to look for it."

Nodding Shuuhei moved his hand away from his mouth and put his arms around Kensei's neck. "Do... do it again?"

"Okay." Kensei pulled back just like he had before but this time he didn't snap his hips forward, he just waited there giving the tiniest, shallowest thrusts none going deeper than a centimeter or two. When Shuuhei's fingers dug into his skin he let his cock fall just the slightest bit further into Shuuhei's body. The boy moaned and arched up trying to take him deeper but Kensei pulled back. Then the instant he heard Shuuhei whimper softly he snapped his hips forward and scraped his cock across his prostate again. He loved the way the kid sounded.

Shuuhei very nearly screamed. He would have too if Kensei hadn't lowered himself to swallow the shout with this lips. He was seeing stars and he could have sworn he felt tears in his eyes. It felt amazing. "Th-thank you..."

"Thank you?"

Shuuhei nodded. "For... for showing me... I... I like the way that feels... I like it so much... it's the most... the most amazing thing I've ever felt."

Kensei smiled. "It'll feel even better in a bit." Kensei trailed his hand over Shuuhei's body and along his stomach.

"Wha-"

He reached to grab Shuuhei's length where it lay against their stomachs and at the same time pulled back and abruptly and thrust back in.

Shuuhei was thankful that the older man seemed to know exactly when he would shout. If it hadn't been for Kensei's mouth over his Shuuhei was sure that everyone else would have heard him.

"Does it feel good?" He squeezed Shuuhei's cock and drew his hand up the length slowly.

"Y-yes... So good." His breath quivered in his chest and the tears in his eyes threatened to fall. It was amazing. "Please... please... I want more... please."

Kensei smiled and sunk down for another kiss. "I'll give you as much as you can take." He started thrusting in a more regular pattern. He stayed slow however and never drew out more than half of his length.

Shuuhei arched and released a choked sob as the rhythm started to pick up. The hand stroking him was amazing. It felt so much better than his own hand ever had. "Like that... please... please more... I need... Uha!" He threw one of his arms over his face and snapped his head to the side trying to remember how to breath. When he shifted his hips he felt a hand instantly on his waist pulling him back into the same angle while Kensei thrust. A hand groped on the bed until it found his and Shuuhei locked their fingers together.

Kensei pulled all the way up on Shuuhei's cock and swirled his thumb around the tip spreading the precum. "You're already dribbling." He whispered in the boy's ear.

Shuuhei bit his lip and whimpered softly. "I can't help it. Ah!" His eyes snapped open at a particularly strong thrust against his prostate, but he couldn't make them focus on anything. He brought the arm he had previously thrown over his face to wrap around Kensei's back. "Like that... oh my god... like that again... please... stronger like that..."

Kensei complied and had to lock their lips together in an almost continuous kiss to keep Shuuhei's sounds muffled. He squeezed the brunette's hand tightly on the bed spread and crashed his hips harshly against Shuuhei's body. He felt so willing underneath him. His body taking everything he shoved into it. His ass was plump and supple against his pelvis every time he shoved in he went deep enough to force the muscles back. He loved the resilience against his body. How it bounced back fully every time he backed off and compressed down so tightly when he was thrusting as deep as possible into Shuuhei's body. It was amazing, so much so that now he had to kiss Shuuhei to keep himself quite as well. God damn it, it felt good. He forced himself to slow down again though the action pulled what was almost a sob from the boy beneath him. But he needed to talk to the kid and was afraid if he continued moving like he had been then Shuuhei wouldn't be able to keep from making too much noise once he removed his lips. "Shuuhei...?" He groaned as he pulled back slowly. It was agonizing how slow he was moving.

"No... Please... I want you inside of me again... all the way... please."

Kensei tried to catch his breath and slowly sunk back in. He removed his hand from Shuuhei's length which got him another unhappy sound and laid himself fully down on the kid's body. "I need ta ask you somethin'."

Shuuhei whimpered and rocked his hips to make Kensei shift inside of his body. Then he clenched down squeezing his cock with his muscles. Kensei gasped loudly and then dissolved into a groan. "Fuck."

"What... what did you want to ask me?" Shuuhei tensed again getting him another almost guttural moan. He liked that sound so much. He liked that with such a small movement he could have such a powerful man react so strongly.

"Does it still hurt at all?"

Shuuhei shook his head. "No. Not at all." Letting his muscles relax Shuuhei took a deep breath and rocked. Then he clamped down again.

Kensei looked up at him pointedly but the look was somewhat spoiled by his sharp moan. When Shuuhei eased up again he once more fixed him with a stare this one strong enough that the kid lay there beneath him and waited. "You're not lyin' to me are ya kid?"

Again he shook his head. "No."

"Alright then."

Kensei lifted letting go of Shuuhei's hand and grabbed his hip to tilt him up again. Then he pulled back and put his hand to the brunette's cock. "I'm gonna start movin' more then."

"Okay. I'm ready." Shuuhei licked his lips and arched his back to keep his hips in the same position.

Kensei grunted. "But you damn well better tell me if something hurts. Got it."

"Yes. I'll tell you. I promise."

"Okay then." He took his cock out all the way this time letting Shuuhei close completely. He used the hand he didn't have on Shuuhei to grab his own cock and rubbed the tip against his entrance. He let a finger fall from around himself and tickled at the opening. It had closed up almost completely again. But it opened again easily when he let the tip of his finger breach it.

Shuuhei arched and whined. "What are you doing? You're all the way gone."

Smiling Kensei pull his finger back and pressed the blunt tip of his dick against the opening again. "Yeah. I'll be back though."

"But..."

"It feels nice, being opened up again. At lest that's what alot of people think. So I'm pullin' all the way out and seein' if you like it too."

Shuuhei nodded and shifted again. "Okay... but... you've been gone a long time."

Kensei licked his lips and bent to kiss Shuuhei on the forehead. "I'll come back."

Just as he spoke those words Shuuhei felt Kensei's cock slip back inside of his body. He started to tense and when he did the movement stopped and he felt lips against his own. They were soft and gentle, almost nibbling along his mouth.

"Don't tense up like that when I'm trynna push back in."

"I'm sorry."

Kensei smiled and removed his hand from himself to touched Shuuhei's cheek. "It's okay, relax." Shuuhei nodded but his body didn't loosen up much so Kensei squeezed the brunette's cock and stroked. That made Shuuhei arch off the mattress again and he stopped clenching. Kensei pushed all the way back in making them both moan. But he didn't stay inside for long. He pulled all the way out again and this time didn't stop stroking Shuuhei. He had to take a hold of himself once more with his free hand in order to push into the tight heat of Shuuhei's body.

Arching Shuuhei gripped tightly to Kensei's body. "I do like that... but... I don't like having you gone."

Kensei smiled. "Okay then. You want me to stay inside of you?"

Shuuhei nodded. "At lest a piece of you... I don't like feeling empty."

He was being needy, Kensei thought. But he had a right to be. It was his first time. Most people want there first time to be more about emotions and feelings then fun. He just wanted to have Kensei close to him. "Okay. I won't do that anymore if you don't want me to."

Shuuhei nodded. "Thank you."

Kissing Shuuhei on the cheek Kensei started to pull back again. He went to the tip but no further. He loved the way Shuuhei's hips arched forward to follow him. "Patience kiddo. I'll come back." With that he sunk back down but immediately pulled out and then shoved back in. His pace was still slow but now when he moved he pulled out the majority of his cock from Shuuhei's ass leaving just enough to keep the boy satisfied. He stroked the slender cock in his hand every time he pushed in or pulled out and it had Shuuhei panting softly beneath him. His eyes were closed lightly and his hair remained splayed out across his pillows. It was getting long... they should probably get someone to cut it. Shaking his head Kensei tried to rid his mind of other thoughts. With Shuuhei underneath him like that it wasn't very difficult.

While Shuuhei definitely seemed to be enjoying himself, judging from the soft breaths and the relaxed expression on his face, he wasn't hitting his prostate anymore. His hips weren't tilted right. Kensei squeezed tightly on Shuuhei's cock and swirled his thumb around the tip pulling a soft moan from the young brunette. Then he sat back a bit more on his knees and grabbed the teen's hip to tilt him properly. "Stay like that this time." He ordered. His voice was gruff as always but the edge seemed to be missing, probably from how good he felt at the moment. That and the words were punctuated by a moan.

Stretching out over Shuuhei again Kensei started moving his hips. This time when he pressed back into that warm ass he felt the body beneath him jerk and felt hands spasm against his back. "That's it. Now I'm hittin' it again. Feels really good doesn't it?"

All Shuuhei did was whimper.

Hearing that sound Kensei moaned and stroked his hand harder on Shuuhei's cock. His hips started to pick up pace and every time he entered he slammed all the way forward against Shuuhei's ass. He couldn't hold back much longer and Shuuhei wasn't complaining, he wasn't telling him it hurt and judging from his face Kensei believed that it didn't. Finally his rhythm reached a more standard speed and he watched as every thrust bounced Shuuhei's body up on the bed. He started grunting against the teen beneath him but never closed his eyes. Shuuhei was far too beautiful for him to look away. He watched as Shuuhei bit his lip and felt as his body convulsed with pleasure. Then there were the sounds he made. He'd never heard anything that turned him on as much as Shuuhei's moans and whimpers.

Kensei picked up his pace again. He started slamming forward and he himself became breathless. It felt good. It felt damn good. He stroked and squeezed Shuuhei's cock roughly and groaned.

Shuuhei threw his arm once again over his face in an attempt to muffle the sounds of his cries. When he did things to himself he never had any trouble keeping quite. But this... the double assault, the fact that it was his idol's hand on him that was bringing him off, that it was his cock inside of him making him feel that good... He felt tears fall again only this time they didn't come from pain but unbelievable pleasure. He jerked against the body above him and closed his eyes. It felt so good. He was close. He knew he was close.

Kensei thought he might pass out just from watching the kid. He was... he was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. The way he looked, the way he arched back exposing his neck, the way his eyes fell shut but not clenched. His mouth hung open in a soft 'o' and then, suddenly, there was an arm he flung across his face, blocking Kensei's view. He wanted to pull it away. He wanted to keep watching Shuuhei as he experienced this. But when he noticed the kid was actually biting into himself and heard the muffled sounds he thought better of it. He was using it to keep himself quite. Though... Kensei groaned as he rocked forward into the jerking body. He'd been able to keep him quite before with his lips. He much preferred that method.

As he drew the arm away Kensei immediately replaced it with his mouth swallowing Shuuhei's cries of pleasure. He guided him with a hand on his hip and jerked forward changing his angle back to what it had been.

Shuuhei felt everything erupted through him. If Kensei hadn't been covering his mouth he would have screamed. He flung both arms around the man's neck and held on for dear life as everything hit him. His fingers tightened and clenched over the soft material of Kensei's shirt and one hand found its way up into the delicate white hair. It felt so good. Everything felt so good and every muscle in his body was completely tense.

Kensei gasped when he felt the muscles contract around him harder than he'd ever felt before. Those skinny hips slammed up against him and he felt warmth against his hand and on his stomach. He didn't stop rocking or stroking. He also didn't stop kissing him. It was amazing. Shuuhei's body shook powerfully and Kensei swallowed moan after moan and gripped the side of the brunette's face touching his cheek. He could feel the fingers in his hair, clenching and pulling as Shuuhei's body continued to tighten. Then the pulsing finally stopped and Kensei relaxed. After another somewhat sloppy open mouth kiss he pulled back to look at the kid underneath him.

Shuuhei still felt the tears, though they were mostly dry now. His vision faded in and out of blackness and he wasn't entirely sure that he hadn't blacked out at one point. It had been so... it had felt so good. He could hardly move. He had no idea it could feel so much better with someone else. A shiver went through his body and he opened his eyes to look up at the man he loved. It was the most amazing thing he'd ever experienced.

Kensei took a deep breath. "Okay... Um... we... we should probably stop now."

"What?" Shuuhei snapped back to reality quickly when Kensei started to pull back. He grabbed him tightly around the hips and held him where he was. "Hey wait a minute. What about you?"

"What?" Kensei didn't bother fighting when Shuuhei grabbed him, he didn't have the energy. He just sunk back down and rested on Shuuhei again. "What do mean?"

"I mean... what about you... you haven't... I mean... inside of me..." Shuuhei rocked his hips carefully and gasped as Kensei's length move against his insides. "You... you're still hard."

Kensei chuckled. "It's fine."

"No!" He gripped tightly around Kensei with both his arms and legs, just in case he decided to try and move away again.

"Shuuhei you're all ready gonna be sore as hell in the morning."

"Right so why not finish."

"You did finish."

"But you didn't!"

"Don't yell."

Shuuhei bit his lip. "I just... I wanna keep going... until you do too. Please. I've come this far... I wanna experience the rest."

"Shuuhei-"

"Please." He rocked up and nuzzled Kensei's neck with his nose. "Please keep going."

Kensei moaned. Damn this kid. How did he do this to him? "O-okay."

Shuuhei squeezed the other tightly in a hug before unclasping his legs from around his waist. "Thank you." He pushed up and kissed Kensei softly on the lips and when he pulled back he had an unbelievably huge smile.

"Damn it Shuuhei... when did you get to be so cute?" He didn't wait for an answer and instead started to pull back and begun his thrusting again. He couldn't deny that he wanted to finish inside of him. The way his body felt was... Kensei groaned and wrapped both of his arms beneath Shuuhei and placed his palms over his shoulders. He told himself to go slow. He told him self not to thrust as hard as he wanted to. He reminded himself of how Shuuhei looked in the beginning. When he'd first entered him. He tried very hard to remember that and rein himself in. It was harder than he'd thought it would be.

Arching slightly Kensei finally let Shuuhei's hips fall down to the bed. The arms around him felt nice. He liked how Shuuhei clung to him. He liked how he felt beneath him too. He liked that probably a bit more than he really should. Even now Shuuhei was tight around him. The warmth of him against Kensei's skin was amazing. He fit so nicely there. There was something about Shuuhei's body that just felt right against his own. With a groan Kensei rocked and thrust slowly. Not as slow as he'd been doing earlier but not nearly as fast as he'd been a few moment's ago. _'Stay slow... be careful.'_ He told himself.

Shuuhei moaned softly against his neck and Kensei felt lips against his skin. He pulled one of his arms out from underneath the kid and used his hand to cradle the back of Shuuhei's head. He pressed the boy's body against him and held him tightly as he moved inside of him. "I love that." He moaned when Shuuhei's mouth began nibbling softly. "I love gettin' my neck kissed."

Shuuhei smiled and continued his soft motions. He drew his fingers up Kensei's back all the way to his shoulders. Then he brought one around to press against the very top of his chest just below where his lips were. He rocked into the thrusts of the older man each one reverberating through his body. He liked it slow like this, he found. He hadn't before. He'd been filled with such an overwhelming urgency to get... somewhere. He couldn't stand the agonizing pace then. But this felt less like teasing and more like... Shuuhei sighed happily and put his arms around Kensei's waist again, _'Making love.'_ He thought to himself. He liked the feel of Kensei's hand on the back of his head. He was holding him. He liked being held. When Kensei thrust into him a bit harder Shuuhei gasped and once again trailed the fingers of one hand up the strong back over him. Every muscle rippled with strength beneath his touch. Flattening his palm half way up he closed his eyes and took in the feel of that strength and power.

Shuuhei moaned and brought his knees up and pressed them to Kensei's sides. The white haired man smiled. He felt the slow glide of Shuuhei's hand up his back and it made him shiver. Every thrust brought him closer to completion but he knew the pace he currently had would never get him there. At lest not without another hour or two. Still he was enjoying this moment of bliss. The two of them rocking together like they were, Shuuhei's fingers and lips slipping softly along his body. He felt closer to Shuuhei right now than he had felt to anyone before. He loved holding him in his arms. He loved feeling his body beneath him. In spite of everything he knew to be true something about this just felt right.

Shifting, Shuuhei put one hand into Kensei's soft hair and pulled him down into a kiss. Kensei quickly returned it moaning when Shuuhei flicked his tongue inside. He let his eyes fall shut and concentrated on how they were connected, between their tongues and his length sunk deeply into Shuuhei's body, he felt his head spin. Moaning he reached out and took Shuuhei's face into his hand. He pulled back slightly and nuzzled at the brunette with his nose. Pulling himself out of Shuuhei's body he sunk back in smoothly and once he'd embedded himself completely he captured Shuuhei's lips in a kiss. He scraped his thumb across the teen's cheek and pulled back several times just to come right back and kiss him again. It seemed like every time their lips broke apart Shuuhei arched back slightly with joy. Then whenever they reconnected Kensei felt a shiver run through the kid's body.

The pace of their kisses picked up and the motion of Kensei's hips soon followed. Shuuhei rocked up with each thrust to match him equally. Panting he sent soft breaths across Shuuhei's face, every few enhanced by a soft moan or sigh. When they pulled back to part neither went very far before they were reconnecting their bodies again. Kensei pulled away and gasped for air. He gripped tightly onto Shuuhei his fingers now moving to tangle in his thick black hair again. Every time he entered Shuuhei's body the kid clenched down on him and it felt so good. He could hear Shuuhei's soft breaths too and the sounds reverberated in his ears. Kensei groaned and put his full weight down on Shuuhei's body. With his head resting over Shuuhei's shoulder on the pillows he put both arms around his back and shoulders and hugged him tightly.

Shuuhei gripped Kensei's sides with both hands. He brought his legs up and bent his knees to plant his feet squarely on the bed. That way he could push up better every time Kensei thrust inside of him. He'd brought him to this. He'd brought such a strong and powerful man to this. Shuuhei moaned and tilted his head towards Kensei's body. It still felt good. Even after he'd already finished it still felt really good. Then the pace increased again but he wasn't sure who had initiated it. It seemed they both wanted more.

Kensei gripped tightly to Shuuhei. He was getting closer. He could feel the coiling in his body. He felt his eyes roll back and he started feeling heady. He liked having Shuuhei so close to him. There was no denying that at this point. He very much liked it and he very much liked that it was Shuuhei he was with.

Trying to catch his breath Shuuhei arched and jerked his head to the side. He threw his hand out away from Kensei's body to rest on the bed gripping the sheets. His eyes shut tightly and he panted. It still felt so good.

Feeling the loss of Shuuhei's touch Kensei reached out and found the boy's hand on the bed. He linked their fingers and squeezed once tightly. Getting a squeeze back made him smile. Holding Shuuhei's hand tightly he continued his thrusting. He was so damn close now. He was on the precipice and knew he was about to release into the kid's ass. His body was already tingling. As he reached the point of no return he gripped tightly to the boy beneath him. He squeezed his hand again and used the arm he still had around Shuuhei and under his back to pull them closely together. Shuuhei was still pressing up taking him all the way inside. The flood of pleasure hit him and with a choked moan he started cumming. His hips jerked sporadically with each spill of his seed into Shuuhei' body. His moans where choppy as was his breathing and all he wanted to do was pull Shuuhei even closer to him.

Shuuhei gasped loudly though he doubted Kensei heard him. He was held so tightly he thought Kensei might crush him. The sounds of the older man made Shuuhei bite his lips. They were the most amazing sounds he'd ever heard. He gripped Kensei's shoulder blade tightly with the hand he still had on his back and suddenly realized what was happening. _'Oh! He's... oh my god he's cumming! He's cumming inside of me!'_ Shuuhei felt his head spin and bit his lip even harder. It was amazing. If he concentrated he could feel Kensei release inside of him. He felt as it splashed against him and coated the inside of his body. Feeling the strong man shake in his arms like that, Shuuhei couldn't get his breath thinking about it. Knowing that he'd made such a man feel like that... Turning his head he placed kisses to the side of Kensei's face and nuzzled him with his nose while he finished.

Kensei felt the kisses and how Shuuhei nuzzled him. The action served to heighten his pleasure and finally hitting his peak Kensei took a deep gasping breath and his muscles started relaxing. The last of his orgasm shuddered through his body and Kensei moaned softly as he felt it leave him. With a little stretch he rested down on the teen beneath him completely content.

Shuuhei was finally able to catch his breath. Kensei had released his hand and so he wrapped it around the man on top of him. Kensei was still shaking and Shuuhei held him tightly. He liked being able to hold him like that. He liked having him in his arms as he came down from such a high. He nuzzled against him again and kissed him on the cheek. It had been amazing and all he wanted was to be able to do it again and again and only with Kensei.

Once his vision cleared Kensei shook his head and then turned giving Shuuhei a soft kiss to the lips. But soon he was moving away pulling himself out of Shuuhei's body and rolling off of him.

Feeling Kensei leave him Shuuhei felt an emptiness inside of him. Then when the man pulled back and rolled to his side his heart sunk. His perfect little fantasy had been just that, a fantasy. "You're gonna send me away now..."

Kensei tried to remember how to breath. That had been... his head was still spinning from how good that had felt. In all rights it shouldn't have been that good. There's no way a fifteen year old kid should be that good at sex. _'Damn...'_ It took him a moment to realize Shuuhei had actually said something. "Huh?"

"You're gonna make me leave now. Aren't you?"

Kensei smiled and pulled Shuuhei up by his chin. It looked almost like he might cry. Huffing softly with laughter he shook his head. "No kid. I ain't gonna make you leave." He rolled onto his side and tugged Shuuhei into his arms. "I'm not gonna make you go anywhere. You're stayin' right here tonight." He sat up and grabbed the blanket from the foot of the bed and pulled it over them. "Are ya tired?"

Shuuhei nodded. He didn't feel like he could speak. He was actually letting him stay. He felt so happy. Curling his body closely to the other man's warmth he inhaled deeply and smiled. "Thank you."

"Here, take this off." He pulled at the shirt still hanging from the kid's body and threw it off onto the floor. With it gone Kensei ran his hand up and down Shuuhei's back and sides. "Are you okay? Does anything... does it still hurt anywhere?"

Shuuhei shook his head. "No. Not really. It felt really nice after a while."

"Yeah well... you'll probably be pretty sore tomorrow. Since it was your first time and all."

Shuuhei shrugged. "I'm glad it was with you." He snuggled in deeper to Kensei's chest and his breaths were soon slow and even.

That statement gave him pause. This had meant a lot more to Shuuhei than it had to him. What in the hell had he done? He knew he shouldn't let the kid sleep here. He knew there was to great a risk of the others finding out what happened not to mention that it got Shuuhei even more attached to him. But he just couldn't throw the kid out after that. Even he wasn't that heartless. So he wrapped his arms around the brunette and held the boy close. Tomorrow was going to suck.

~Tsuduku~


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** So Wrong Chapter 02  
><strong>Paring:<strong> Muguruma Kensei/Hisagi Shuuhei  
><strong>Rating:<strong> NC-17  
><strong>Labels:<strong> M/M, Yaoi, Angst, Oral, HJ, Lemon, Minor (15), AT  
><strong>Chapters:<strong> 03  
><strong>Word Count:<strong> 16,119  
><strong>Pages:<strong> 25  
><strong>Continuation:<strong> Yes, I have the next few chapters completely written and I am currently editing them. I also have a total of 8 chapters partially written.  
><strong>Beta:<strong> None, but I am looking for one again.  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I do not own Bleach nor do I make any money off of this.  
><strong>Summery:<strong> 100 years ago Shuuhei doesn't go home when Kensei tells him to and gets caught up in everything and by the time anyone notices that he's there it's too late and they decided the best option is to take him with them.  
><strong>Notes:<strong> Kensei gets pretty angry in this chapter and he's kinda mean in some places. So if you don't see his character as someone with a short temper or someone prone to anger than you probably don't want to read this. Okay so now that I've freaked everyone out let me clarify, there isn't any N/C and he doesn't like hit him or anything. He just get mad and little mean. BTW This is pretty much my lest favorite chapter in the story so please be gentle. :D

Rose yawned and stretched. He looked over at the clock and groaned. How did it get that late? He was getting into bad habit's staying in the living world. Though he smiled in the knowledge that at lest he wasn't the only one. Most of them had been the kind of people to wake up with the sun. Now it seemed they had all developed a somewhat nasty habit of sleeping in. With another stretch and a small sigh he pulled himself up and out of bed. It was his turn.

They'd know that they had to do something for Shuuhei in the way of education. Though quickly decided that sending him to an actual school would have been a bad idea, what with their somewhat unique situation. That and he was extremely shy, they were afraid that sending him to a school would have overloaded him. Of course the shyness seemed to go away almost entirely once he'd accepted them. Either way though, they thought a school would be a bad idea so they had a tutor come every morning 6 days a week to teach him. But he was getting old enough now, and smart enough, that they would have to start looking for other teachers in certain subjects.

At first, when he was little, they just worked with him themselves. Laughing a little Rose pulled on a pair of trousers. _He'd_ worked with him and mostly by himself. The others had unanimously elected him for the job seeing as he had taught in the academy. He tried to explain to them that it was a very different thing teaching a 9 year old and teaching would be shinigami. All the same the task had fallen to him. However it only took him a few years until Shuuhei was asking him questions he couldn't answer, mostly because he didn't know how to explain them. They probably could have stopped at that point but they needed something to do with him during the day and Shuuhei honestly seemed to like learning. It was amazing the level of intelligence he showed.

The only thing that Rose still taught him was music. He smiled to himself at that. Shuuhei had picked up the piano rather quickly. He was already quite good and Rose loved their lessons. Shuuhei loved music almost as much as he did and he got so excited about it. None of the others had the passion for music that he did so he was overjoyed when the little boy had showed an interest. He could still remember a much smaller Shuuhei poking his head around the corner and listening to him play. After the first few times he saw him doing that Rose had called him over and asked him if he liked the piano. When the little boy nodded to him he'd smiled and that had been their first lesson. Now he taught him twice a week, every week and that time was far more precious to him than anything else he did in this world. He may not be able to teach the boy math and science anymore but it would be a long time before he could out play him.

He'd always been quite close to the boy. Even after he stopped being Shuuhei's teacher he was still mostly responsible for the child. When decisions had to be made concerning him they had found it somewhat difficult for everyone to come to the same conclusion and no one much wanted to fight over it. The solution they finally came to was that there needed to be a single person who was ultimately responsible for the child. Rose had been chosen for that role since he had had the strongest bond with Shuuhei at the time. He had accepted but that didn't mean he let the others slack off helping him with his burden. As much as he liked him he was still a handful and honestly more than Rose could handle by himself especially considering his intellect. It would seem that being a smart child didn't mean he was always intelligent. It did however mean he was curious, about everything, and had often needed to be watched closely. As he'd gotten older that particular problem had diminished. Though he did seem to do something stupid every month or so. Of course doing stupid things was part of growing up. That was how you learned. At lest he never seemed to do anything too horrendous. Rose actually had to worry about Shuuhei very little.

It had been a bit of a hassle when was younger since they had to make sure someone was always there to watch him. But even so it wasn't that bad and for the most part Shuuhei wasn't a burden to him. Rose sighed. The only thing which caused him any real trouble were his nightmares. They were horrible. He'd wake up screaming in the middle of the night loud enough to wake the entire house. He knew that children were prone to nightmares but it seemed as though Shuuhei's were especially bad. They'd hoped that as he grew they would stop. Usually kids grew out of them but... he had several things to haunt him at night. Taking care of him when he had a nightmare was a task Rose couldn't possible handle on his own. It was almost as though they weren't even there.

Rose shook his head as he looked through the closet for a shirt. When he first showed up he barely spoke at all. Mostly he just cried all the time. Though, after all he'd been through, it seemed understandable. He'd lost everything he'd known and was suddenly in a strange place with people he didn't know. He was terrified. You couldn't really blame him for that. He was only a small child. Well, _Rose_ couldn't blame him. There were certain people who didn't deal with it so well. Mainly Kensei and Hiyori. Though Kensei actually dealt with it much better. He just ignored him. Hiyori got into the habit of yelling at him which only made everything worse. Rose was sure that Shuuhei had been terrified of her for a very long time before things settled down.

With another sigh he walked over to his mirror and turned slowly straightening out his clothes. Things _were_ getting better. In the past 6 years Shuuhei had grown up so much. He wasn't nearly as scared and he talked quite a bit. It often didn't seem to matter what the rest of them were talking about he almost always had a new and interesting way of looking at it. Usually something none of the rest of them would have thought of. He even smiled, he usually smiled, and he laughed, alot. He would get so excited about things sometimes it was almost like his mind was moving too fast for the rest of him to keep up.

He was actually quite enjoyable to be around now and fit surprisingly well with them, again, with _most_ of them. Though Hiyori had gotten much better after he stopped crying all the time. Lately it even seemed as though she were starting to like him, of course being who she was she had the most peculiar way of showing it. At lest in Rose's opinion. Still the two of them seemed to be getting along which was a good thing. Kensei on the other hand seemed to continue to refuse to acknowledged his presence whenever possible. Which was a very difficult thing to watch. The poor boy was so enamored with him and he believed Kensei hated him. Rose doubted it was hate, more a mix of annoyance and apathy.

With one last look in the mirror Rose straightened his shirt. Turning away he walked out of his room and started down the hall. They'd tried to get Kensei to interact with him. To at lest be _nice_ to him, or not ignore him. But he refused to take any part in the boy's care unless they forced him. Like with waking him up in the morning. Someone had to wake him in the mornings and make sure he was ready for when the tutor got there. It hadn't actually been much of a task when Shuuhei was younger. But after he got to be about 13, almost over night it had become and impossible task. The boy would sleep till noon, later probably, if they let him. Kensei of course wanted no part of it but since everyone else had to take a turn so did he. The only one who was exempt from it was Hachi and that was because he had to be up far too early in the morning since he worked at a bakery. The idea of waking Shuuhei up at four in the morning and expecting him to then stay up until nine was ludicrous. But that was, however, the only task Kensei actually did in regards to the boy. In every other respect he did his best to simply ignore him.

Rose shook his head remembering the first time they'd actually gotten Kensei to help out with him. It had been such a hassle to them that they didn't much bother trying to get him to do anything unless they absolutely needed him too. That had been a time when they needed him too. When they had first brought the boy to the house Shuuhei had sat huddled in the corner for weeks not moving, not talking, not _eating_. Normally they wouldn't have had to worry but Shuuhei definitely had reiryoku. It was a very small amount but it was there and so he needed to eat eventually. It had probably only just developed in him so Rose doubted he'd even noticed there was a difference. After several weeks it became more and more worrisome. He was getting to the point where he might die if he didn't accept what they were telling him. Finally Rose and Love managed to corner Kensei and told him everyone else had tried and now it was his turn. He'd grumbled quite a bit but after only one attempt he got Shuuhei to eat.

He'd rather hoped that after Shuuhei had grown up some Kensei would give him a chance but the man still refused to acknowledge him any more than he had to. He supposed there was still a chance that Kensei would try to get to know him but he doubted it very much. Rose shook his head. Oh well, if that was how Kensei wanted things then so be it, at this point he was the one missing out.

Rose looked up furrowing his brow. He hadn't realized he'd been walking so slow. He'd barely even made it half way down the hall. Quickening his pace he sighed at himself. That's what he got for being so introspective. However once he got to Shuuhei's door he noticed that something was off. The door was open. Rose narrowed his eyes. When he'd been a little boy Shuuhei tended to leave his door open but he hadn't done that for years. Since he'd gotten older he'd started wanting more privacy so he tended to close the door when he was in his room. "Shuuhei?" He opened the door further but when he stepped inside he notice that the bed was empty and Shuuhei was nowhere to be found. The bed was made as well, though that didn't mean he hadn't slept in his room. He'd always been a relatively neat child. Still if he'd just gotten up to get a snack or to go to the bathroom he wouldn't have made his bed. Maybe he'd just gotten up. But that didn't make sense. Not with the way Shuuhei slept. Rose turned around and left the room a puzzled look on his face. He didn't even notice the other blond walking down the hall.

"Hey Rose." Shinji walked past towards the bathroom yawing. "What's up?"

"Shuuhei isn't in his room."

Stopping Shinji cocked his head to the side. He hadn't really expected much of a response. "What?"

"He's not there. I came to get him up for school and the door was opened and he isn't there."

"Well where is he?"

"I don't know. That's what I've just been telling you."

"What's the matter?" Lisa came up behind them yawning, obviously just having come from the bathroom.

"Shuuhei isn't in his room." Shinji answered.

"Where is he?"

"We don't know." Rose answered.

"Well when did he go to bed last night?"

Rose shrugged. "I don't remember seeing him go to bed. He was there after dinner though. He helped me with the dishes."

"I'm sure he'll turn up." Lisa yawned a second time obviously not that concerned. There's only so much trouble he could get into inside the house and she doubted he'd left. Tessai had set up a barrier around the whole place. Whenever anyone crossed it Hachi knew about it. They may be in those damn gigai but they at lest had some ability to sense reiatsu. Hachi might not have been able to set up the barrier himself but he could still tune into it. If Shuuhei had left he would have known about it and he would have said something. "I think he was following Kensei around again."

"Yeah well that's not exactly unusual." Shinji shrugged.

Rose continued thinking. "Well no but-"

"Maybe Kensei knows. Shuuhei was following him after all."

Rose turned to face her. "Yes but he mostly just ignores him. You really think he would have noticed anything?"

"Maybe Kensei finally snapped and locked him in a closet somewhere."

Rose fixed her with a look. "Even Kensei isn't that bad. And he's put up with it this long I doubt it's anything like that."

"Okay everybody's just overacting. He probably went to bed last night and just got up early for something. Why don't you check the kitchen. I mean he's always eating something."

"Yes that's true but Shuuhei never gets out of bed unless someone forces him to."

"Yeah but his reiryoku has finally started growing so now he's eating like he's starving all the time. Just don't jump to conclusions."

Rose nodded to the taller man. "You're right. It is entirely possible." With a for longed sigh he walk off towards the other rooms of the house. "Are you coming?"

Shinji and Lisa had been turning to leave, in the other direction, when both stopped. They each gave Rose a rather interesting look. "What?"

"Aren't you going to help me?"

"Hey it's your morning to get him up." Lisa pointed out

"Yes but it isn't usually a task of hide and seek."

They both groaned. "Fine," Shinji added. "I'll come." He glanced over at Lisa who was still silent. "Lisa?"

"What? It's not my problem and how much trouble do you really think he could get into? He'll turn up and then you guys will see you've been worrying for nothing." She yawned again. "I'm going back to bed and reading my book."

Shinji scowled at her. "Pervert."

With a smirk she turned and started to walk away. "I'll let you borrow it when I'm done."

That made Shinji perk up a bit but she was already leaving. "Well okay but... you better not forget." He shouted and turned back to Rose. "Come on. Lets go find him."

* * *

><p>Kensei opened his eyes blearily when he heard the knock on his door. The first thing he noticed was that he wasn't alone. The second thing was that the person laying in his arms had wild black hair. Kensei groaned. "Shit." Last night... <em>"Shit."<em>

The knocking came again and once more Kensei groaned. He looked at the clock. It was almost 8:30 all ready. Definitely past time for Shuuhei to be up. Whipping a hand over his face Kensei closed his eyes. They must have gone to wake him up and found out he wasn't in his room. Now they were searching for him. Who's turn was it to wake him up...? Kensei tried to rack his brain but he couldn't remember. He didn't much pay attention unless he had to do it.

"Shuuhei." He snapped quietly.

The boy grunted and turned over in his sleep. Kensei scowled. "Shuuhei." He shook him softly but the kid only grunted at him again. "Damn it kid wake up."

"Kensei open the door. You can't possibly be sleeping still."

That was Rose's voice. Just his luck. He was the most protective. Generally he was pretty mellow. Unless he got pissed. This would definitely make him pissed. If it had been someone like Lisa he might have a had a chance. Or Mashiro, she was pretty easily swayed and didn't generally care much about anything if it didn't directly involve her. He pursed his lips and looked down shaking Shuuhei again, this time harder. "Wake up." His voice was still quite but there was a hiss of frustration in his words.

"Damn it Kensei. We're coming in!"

What the hell? Kensei's head snapped up from Shuuhei to the door. That was Shinji's voice. How many people we're out there?

The knob turned and the door opened slowly.

Oh they were so going to kill him.

When the two entered the room at first their eyes didn't register what it was they were seeing.

"What in the... What did you do?" Rose asked with honestly bafflement.

It was, of course, in that moment, Shuuhei finally opened his eyes. He felt arms around him, strong arms. With a smile he snuggled back against the warm body holding him. But when he opened his eyes again he saw the faces of two very confused people. _'Uh-oh.'_

"Kensei. What is going on? Why is Shuuhei in your bedroom?"

There was as of yet no anger. But if he didn't come up with something he was sure there would be. "Uh..." Usually Kensei would be yelling at them to get the fuck out of his room but he had a feeling that if he did that just then it would make everything worse.

"I had a nightmare."

Kensei looked down not realizing the kid had finally woken up.

Suddenly all eyes were on him and Shuuhei swallowed. "I had a nightmare and... well I wasn't that far into it I guess cuz I wasn't screamin' but apparently I was still makin' alot a noise. He heard me when he passed by my door and came in to help me feel better but..." He looked away feeling embarrassed. He hated lying to them, especially Rose. But he didn't know what else to do. "I was still scared so he let me sleep in here with him."

Kensei blinked. That was good. Maybe they wouldn't kill him after all. Then a green blur entered his room and all bets where off. As easy as she was to distract she had the most annoying habit of latching onto random details. Sometimes he was positive she did it on purpose.

Mashiro heard the commotion and decided to come in and investigate. She was currently seated on the floor and poking Shuuhei in the shoulder. "Why're you still havin' nightmares all the time? Aren't you too old for that stuff?"

Kensei wanted to strangle her. She was _not_ helping.

A blush rose to Shuuhei's cheeks and he looked away.

"Mashiro. You're embarrassing him." Rose put a hand to her shoulder and then used his other to grab her wrist and stop her from poking him. "He went through some pretty scary stuff remember?" She nodded but didn't seem satisfied. "Well he has the right to get frightened sometimes and he doesn't need you poking him and interrogating him. It isn't polite." Dropping her wrist he smiled. Sometimes dealing with Mashiro was no different then dealing with a small child. "Now shouldn't you be getting to the flower shop?" She looked up pouting at him and Rose raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

"Yeah okay." She got up begrudgingly and stomped out of the room not saying anything else much to Kensei's relief.

Rose returned his attention the white haired man still in bed. "But it is a bit odd for you to be so caring Kensei. Why didn't you get one of us? Or just ignore him like you normally do?"

He shrugged. "I'm not heartless ya know. Nobody else was there. It seemed easier to just deal with it myself rather than wake someone up."

Shinji yawned widely. "Well it's nice to see you two are finally getting along. Come on Rose, I'm gonna get breakfast."

The blond turned back and nodded. "I suppose you're right..." Something seemed off but he couldn't place it. Taking one final look around he decided it was probably just his imagination. "Let's go." As they started to leave Rose turned back over his shoulder. "Shuuhei you need to get up and get dressed. Your teacher will be here in 30 minutes."

Shuuhei nodded. "Okay. I'll be ready." When the others had all left, and the door closed, Shuuhei finally exhaled and turned to put his arms around Kensei's neck. "That was close."

Kensei nodded. He didn't look down at the kid. He chose instead, to concentrate on a point just above his head on the far wall. "Listen kid. We need to talk about what happened."

Shuuhei bit his lip and looked down. "Okay." He didn't really want to talk about it because he knew what Kensei would say. Or at lest what he feared Kensei would say.

"What happened last night, what we did, that's not happening again." He finally did look down at the brunette and his eyes were stern.

"But-"

"Don't argue with me."

"You let me stay."

Kensei sighed. He had a feeling that was gonna come back and bite him in the ass. "Yeah, because I didn't think it'd be right just kickin' you out like that. But it's morning now. Now I'm tellin' you that last night was it. You're to young for something like this."

"I am not! I'm not too young!"

"Be quite." Kensei put a hand to his head. "Don't yell like that damn it."

"But... but... I thought you enjoyed it..." He brought his arms down from around Kensei's neck and rested them on his chest. "I... I thought you finally liked me..."

Kensei sighed. "That's not the issue here. It's not that I don't like you."

"Then..."

"The issue is that I'm almost a hundred and you're still just 15. It wouldn't work."

"Why not? Why wouldn't it work?"

"Damn it Shuuhei it just can't. Why don't just trust me?"

"Because I think it can."

"No you want it to but that doesn't mean it will."

"Can't you... couldn't you at lest let me try..."

Kensei shook his head. "It isn't that type a thing. You can't just make yourself older. You don't have any experience yet."

"So! You can teach me."

"No."

"Why not? I wanna know stuff and no one ever tells me anything."

Kensei drew his eyebrows together at that. "What?"

"No one ever tells me anything. If I ask anybody any questions about this kinda stuff they just get all flustered and tell me to go away. I don't have a clue about anything except for what I've managed to stumble over myself. But you could-"

"No."

"But what am I supposed to do then?"

Looking down Kensei noticed how upset Shuuhei was. He sighed. It made sense he was so frustrated. There was so much shit going on with him right now and he couldn't get an explanation from anyone. That would frustrate him too. "Someone needs to talk to you about this stuff okay. I understand that but under the circumstances I don't think it should be me. I know it's hard for you because no one wants to explain everything but I'll say something to them. Alright?"

"But why can't you? You can only learn so much from asking questions. Wouldn't it be better to-"

"Stop." Kensei growled. "It is true that to really understand how all this works you need to experience it but not with me."

"Why not? Why can't it be with you?"

"Because you need to find someone closer to your own age."

"Why? You already know what you're doing. Someone my age would be just as clueless as me. How am I supposed to figure anything out that way?"

"Okay kid you need to stop this because that angle isn't gonna get you anywhere. You're supposed to fumble around and get confused and figure it out as you go. That's how you do it. If you were with me you would never have that experience and you need it. Despite how difficult and sometimes embarrassing it can be, it's something people need to go through. You can't grow up right if you skip it. It's part of the process regardless of how much it might suck."

"But why? Why does fumbling around and being clueless make me grow up?"

"Okay are you _trying_ to piss me off?"

"No I'm trying to understand. I don't see how going through something like that is supposed to mature me."

"Because that's how things work."

"But-"

"Stop it. What I did to you last night was wrong. You'd be better just to forget it ever happened."

"But it did! It did happen! You had sex with me and-"

"Cut it out!" Kensei barked. "I'm not gonna discuss this with you anymore. Get up and go back to your room and get ready for school."

Shuuhei wrapped his arms around Kensei's neck again and pressed himself against the man's chest. "How?"

"What?"

"How? You ripped up all my clothes."

"Wha-" Kensei groaned thinking back to last night. "Damn it. Okay, I'll give you somethin' of mine to wear."

"Okay..."

Shuuhei sat up and pulled himself from the covers. As he sat on the edge of the bed he winced slightly and sniffled. Quickly he wiped his hand across his face.

"Are you crying?"

"No." He said dejectedly.

Kensei felt like an ass. What the hell was he supposed to do now? Pulling up Kensei moved to sit behind Shuuhei on the bed. "I'm sorry kid. But what your feeling will pass."

Shuuhei shook his head.

"I know it doesn't feel like it but-"

"I'm in love with you." He took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "It isn't just a crush. I'm in love you."

Kensei sighed and put his hand to Shuuhei's shoulder. "No. You're not. You just think you are because you haven't experience it yet. But you will and when you do you'll realize that this, what you feel for me, it isn't love. Infatuation maybe, but not love. That's why the age difference is such a big deal. You're too young to even know what it is you feel."

Shuuhei just shook his head again. "I know how I feel. I know you think I'm too young but I'm not. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. A hundred years could go by and I would still love you." Turning over his shoulder Shuuhei looked up at him and tried to smile.

Damn he looked cute. Even as he was now he still looked cute as hell. He started to reach a hand out to touch Shuuhei's face but quickly drew it hand back and set it on the side of the bed. Closing his eyes Kensei pulled away completely. "Either way you need to get up. I'll go find ya somethin'." He got up and walked over to the dresser. When he glanced back to see the kid stand up, it was quite a bit shaker than Kensei would have liked. When he actually got fully to his feet he winced again. _'Fuck.'_ Kensei was angry. He was angry at himself for what he'd done but most of all for how he'd done it. If he'd just been slower, more careful...

With a growl Kensei stomped over to his closet. At first he'd though he'd just get Shuuhei a yukata. It would be rather big on him but now a days pretty much everything he wore was. He'd just grabbed one at random and pulled it off the hanger when he groaned. Turning back over his shoulder he looked the kid over. As his eyes passed over the brunette's body he noticed that there were more than a few purple and red bruises along his neck and chest. They even went over his shoulders. Kensei clenched his fist around the yukata he'd grabbed. What in the hell was wrong with him! How many god damn times did he bite the kid! Cursing under his breath Kensei was thankful that he had at lest been smart enough to put them lower down.

He tossed the yukata aside in frustration. It would definitely not be good if the others saw him running around with a bunch of hickeys all over his neck... and other places. Kensei groaned silently. He ripped open one of the draws in the small dresser he kept in his closet and shuffled through the shirts inside. He didn't much bother keeping things folded or organized. Several of his shirts he just threw out onto the floor. When he didn't find anything suitable he started rummaging through other draws. Still nothing. Then he spotted his green sweater in the laundry basket. Dirty or not that would have to do.

Kensei plucked the sweater out of the hamper and walked back over to the brunette. "Here." Shuuhei took the sweater gingerly and pulled it on over his head. The kid looked like he was swimming in it. It hung down well past his hips all the way to his mid thigh. Then the sleeves were several inches too long and they hung down over his hands, but it covered what it needed too and that was all that really mattered. Shuuhei was pretty much always running around in some kind of hodgepodge of everyone else's clothes anyway. None of them really much cared to take him shopping and Shuuhei never bothered anyone about it so it didn't happen.

As he looked over the boy again he noted just how cute he was like that and quickly looked away. There was something about the way Shuuhei looked in his green sweater that made him want to snatch the kid up and kiss him, and hold him. Turning to the side Kensei put a hand to his temples and sighed. There was definitely something wrong with him.

Shuuhei looked up at him again and he just looked so... hurt. It made his chest ache. Kensei took a deep breath. Why the hell did he care so damn much? Yesterday he didn't care at all and now... now he didn't even know what was going on in his own head. He sighed again. "Come here kid." Pulling Shuuhei forward he wrapped his arms around him and held him tight. "I'm sorry I hurt you. Both, physically and emotionally. It wasn't my intention."

Shuuhei closed his eyes and allowed himself to lean completely against Kensei's body. He put his hands up to his chest and gripped the material of his shirt. Inhaling deeply he tried to take in as much of that smell as he could. He wanted to remember this. He wanted to make sure he never forgot. This was the man he loved and he always wanted to be able to remember what it was like to be held by him because Shuuhei was scared that it would never happen again.

Kensei waited. He let Shuuhei lean into him and he put his fingers into his hair and cradled his head. It was odd for him, caring this much about the kid. But somehow, he couldn't help it. That's what had got him in trouble in the first place. He still couldn't believe just how good Shuuhei's body felt against him. He just... fit. Everything just fit together between them and Kensei had never felt that before.

He closed his eyes briefly before opening them again and looked up at the clock. It was already 45 after. Pulling back he didn't look down at Shuuhei's eyes this time. Instead he walked away slowly towards his dresser and started to pick out clothes to change into. "You should get goin' now kid. Don't wanna be late."

He didn't turn to see him leave but he heard the door open and when it shut Kensei let out a very long breath. What had he done? Turning around he leaned up against the wall by his closet and sagged. His chest hurt and he couldn't shake the feelings about what he'd done last night, and there was the guilt.

Kensei jerked his head to the side and scoffed at himself. He needed to calm down. Shuuhei may feel bad now but he'd get over it. He could have done much worse he told himself. But somehow he didn't find those words very comforting.

Pushing away from the wall he pulled off his old shirt and tossed it in the general direction of the laundry basket. He needed a shower, but first he had to fix the bed. With a sigh he made his way over to it and started gathering up the blanket so he could tuck it back in properly. When he got it off he stopped cold. There was blood on the sheets. It was too much. A little was normal. That was a tender area so a little was understandable especially considering how the night had gone. A little would have been okay. This was not a little. Kensei clenched his fist. He felt like crap, he felt worse than crap. What he'd taken from him, he had no right to, and the way he'd done it. Then for the kid to actually believe he loved him? That idiot! He hadn't even lived long enough to know what love was.

With a growl Kensei ripped the sheets off the bed and wadded them up into a ball. He tossed them with anger into the corner and then flopped back down on the stripped mattress. He wouldn't be able to salvage them. That much blood wouldn't come out. He'd just have to throw them away and get new ones. At lest it hadn't pooled and gotten into the mattress. Though if it had been that much there would have been a much bigger problem to deal with, and it would have been rather apparent last night.

In spite of himself he found his mind wandering back to what had happened. The way he'd felt, the way Shuuhei had felt against him, underneath him... _around_ him. Kensei almost moaned remembering it. It had been unlike anything he'd ever experienced before. Having the kid under his body like that, the way Shuuhei held him, the way he moved inside of the kid... Kensei took a shaky breath as he thought about it. If he hadn't known it to be the case he would question whether or not that actually _had_ been his first time. Being a virgin Shuuhei should never have been able to make him feel that good.

He tried to think back. He tried to remember his first time but the images were old and blurry now. He couldn't even remember the guy's name. It couldn't have been that great or he'd be able to remember it better. But he knew it hadn't been anything like what he'd done to Shuuhei. That he would have definitely remembered. He knew he was older than Shuuhei... though he wasn't sure by how much, at lest a couple years. Probably more than a couple. The guy had been... he could almost see his face. He'd been cute. He knew that... yeah... really cute. They'd been in the academy together. He remembered a little bit more now. His senpai... Kensei chuckled to himself. They had both been dumb kids. It isn't supposed to be great when you're a dumb kid. You're just lucky if you manage to get each other off.

But with Shuuhei... Kensei closed his eyes again and remembered his face, how beautiful he'd been. Last night had felt amazing. There was no way it should have felt that amazing. The kid just got lucky, he told himself. Even so, as good as it felt for _him_ he'd put Shuuhei through a great deal of pain. He had no excuse for it either because he knew better, or at lest he was supposed to. It was bad enough that he had sex with the kid at all but to be so oblivious to what he was actually doing that he hurt him that much was inexcusable. _'Damn it!'_ What the hell was _wrong_ with him?

Kensei groaned. He liked sex, _alot_. That was certainly a factor. Then when it came to Shuuhei... The kid fucking worshiped him. That shit goes to your head whether you want it to or not. But that wasn't an excuse. He _had_ no excuse. He should have known better. That's what it all came down to. He just should have fucking known better.

* * *

><p>Shuuhei knew he was already behind schedule. He closed the door to his room and ran over to his closet to get changed. But as he pulled out the clothing something inside him paused. He pulled a sleeve of the sweater up to his nose. Closing his eyes Shuuhei took a deep breath. It smelled like him. He felt tears brim in his eyes. His chest hurt. All he wanted to do was lay down in his bed and cry but that wasn't an option. If he did that then Rose would come and find him. There's no way he'd let something like that go and Shuuhei didn't want to get Kensei in trouble.<p>

Taking a deep breath Shuuhei forced himself to calm down. He did his best to push everything away and after just a few minutes he actually did feel better. After another long breath he opened his eyes and picked up the rest of his clothes. He threw the new ones on the bed and then pulled off the sweater. At first he didn't want to put it down. But with a bit of a scowl he set it on the bed next to his clothes. None of them were actually his though. He was pretty sure the pants had belonged to Shinji and the shirt was one of Rose's. He always looked so strange but he didn't want to bother anyone to take him shopping for clothes. It wasn't like he ever went anywhere. The only time he really got out of the house was when one of them took him shopping at the market. It didn't much matter how he looked so he didn't make an issue of it. They'd already given him so much just by letting him stay with them. Asking for more seemed greedy.

Shuuhei pulled on the clothes quickly glancing at the clock. He only had seven minutes. Not enough time to take a shower. _'Oh well,'_ he thought. He'd just take one after class, his tutor didn't usually get that close anyway so hopefully he'd be okay. As he fumbled with the buttons on the shirt he rushed over to the mirror. Picking up his brush Shuuhei ran it through his hair but didn't get past the first stroke. His hair was completely knotted in the back. The brunette frowned. Even as crazy as his hair was it wasn't usually this bad. Pursing his lips he started pulling the brush through as best he could from the bottom up. Shuuhei looked up at the clock, four minutes. Fine, his hair wasn't that important anyway. He dropped the brush down on the desk and finished doing the last of his buttons. Honestly he would have preferred it to be shorter but that was just another thing he didn't feel right bothering anyone about. It was just hair. It didn't really matter much.

* * *

><p>It was a long, <em>long<em> day, for both of them. For Shuuhei, school had been truly awful. Usually he was very dedicated to his studies, except for Japanese history which he honestly didn't know why he had to learn in the first place. But today he just couldn't concentrate. His mind kept wandering to the previous night no matter what he did. If he closed his eyes even for a second he was lost in the memories of it. Of course that wasn't his only problem. He had the added trouble of wincing every time he sat down or stood up. Not to mention the continuous pain he felt whenever he was seated. He was constantly squirming or wiggling in his chair and by the end of the day his tutor was giving him very odd looks.

Kensei found similar difficulties at the dojo. Normally he was completely focused but he couldn't clear his head. More than a few people had asked him if he was alright to which he grunted and told them he was fine. But he couldn't stop thinking about the kid any more than Shuuhei could stop thinking about him.

* * *

><p>Kensei groaned. Where had the day gone? It was already late. He turned his head up into the spray of water and let it wash down his face. It was his second shower that day. He'd wanted to take a longer one this morning but then things got too hectic and busy. Kensei closed his eyes and turned around. The hot water felt good. It served to relive at lest some of his tension. With a sigh he shook his head sending little droplets of water flying every which way from his white hair. He still couldn't stop thinking about it. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about it all damn day.<p>

What he'd done... Kensei closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He'd hurt Shuuhei much more than he'd originally thought. He couldn't help wondering if the kid had been lying to him when he said it didn't hurt anymore. No. Probably not. For the most part Shuuhei was an honest kid and if it had kept hurting that much he probably wouldn't have gotten him off. But that didn't excuse what he'd done in the first place. Kensei sighed and scrubbed a hand through his hair. He needed to stop thinking about it or he was going to go insane.

* * *

><p>Grateful for his classes to finally be at an end Shuuhei got up and thanked his teacher before heading off to his room. Standing was a bit painful and walking made it worse but he did his best not to show any outward signs that he was in pain. It would seem they had believed him this morning but they weren't stupid. If given enough evidence they would figure it out. Shuuhei paused and righted himself again taking a deep breath.<p>

He made it to his bedroom and collapsed onto his bed, on his stomach, and groaned. He couldn't stop thinking about it. It had been... it had been amazing. Having Kensei inside of him, listing to the way he sounded... Shuuhei shuddered and noticed green in the corner of his eye. Reaching out he picked up the sweater and brought it closer to himself. He inhaled deeply like he'd done this morning and smiled. He loved that smell. He loved the man that smell came from and he loved the things that man had done to him last night. He wanted it again, and again, and again. Still smiling Shuuhei rolled over onto his back and abruptly returned to laying on his stomach. It hurt so much.

He pouted. As much as he wanted to feel Kensei inside of him like that he was afraid that if they had sex again so soon it would hurt even more than it had last night. Of course all of that was inconsequential since Kensei had told him it wouldn't happen again. Shuuhei's face fell and he curled around the large sweater. There had to be something he could do.

Last night Shuuhei had kissed him, alot, and then one thing had just lead naturally into the other. Thinking back on that he got a slightly dreamy expression. It had been... wonderful. But he'd been able to do that only because Kensei had initially been trying to tease him. Outside of that situation he didn't think something like that would work. Especially not a second time. He'd have to be alot more forward in order to distract him like that again. Just kissing wasn't going to be enough.

Sighing Shuuhei let out a puff of air which blew his bangs up. The black hair fell back down onto his nose and his eyes crossed as he followed it. Rolling to his side, Shuuhei pulled Kensei's sweater into his chest. He had to be able to do something... There had to be something. Groaning with a fit of frustration he shoved the sweater away and got up. He had to talk to him again. He needed to do something to make him realize that he wasn't too young and that what he felt was real. Maybe if he could do that... Looking back over at the green sweater Shuuhei deflated. He doubted that would change anything. Frowning he picked up a sleeve and smelled it again. That made a small smile cross his lips. Even if it was futile he had to try.

Leaving his room Shuuhei made his way down the hall to Kensei's. The door was slightly open but when he peeked inside Kensei wasn't there. With a frown he walked the rest of the way into the room and looked around. He noticed the bed had been stripped and his brow furrowed. However he soon spotted the wad of sheets in the corner and his eyes widened. Kensei had white sheets but they weren't white any more. Going over to them he held one up and realized it was blood... his blood. There were patches of it all over the white fabric. Had it really been that bad? It couldn't have been. It hadn't hurt _that_ much... had it? He hadn't even noticed he'd been bleeding. Lowering the sheet back to the floor he looked to the side. It didn't change anything. He still wanted Kensei. He still loved him. If anything he blamed himself for ruining the sheets. Shuuhei needed to find him, he needed to talk to him.

Getting up he walked out of the room and down the hall. As he made his way closer to the end of it he heard running water and pursed his lips. True it could be any of them, though more likely it was Hiyori, Lisa, Shinji or Kensei since their rooms were all significantly closer to that particular bathroom. The others tended to use the bathroom at the other end of the hall. The odds were good since Kensei also hadn't been in his room and the door was open. No one else's door was open in the hall.

Shuuhei walked quickly back towards the living room. Leaning over the edge of the wall he peeked in and counted. There were four people, Love, Hachi, Mashiro, and Hiyori. With a smile and a wave he went off in the other direction towards the dinning room. That only left three others, though two of them were also down at that side of the hall. Shuuhei did the same thing when he got to the dinning room. He peeked around the corner of one of the walls. Lisa and Shinji were sitting in there playing cards on the table. He smiled to both of them and said hello but as soon as he had he disappeared. That was good. Only Rose was left and he was at the farthest end of the hall so he almost never used that bathroom. Shuuhei made his way to the kitchen and there he found Rose cooking. His smile doubled and he ran off this time without any kind of acknowledgment at all. Walking as fast as he felt comfortable doing he made his way back where he'd come from and paused.

Shuuhei stood outside the bathroom door and took a deep breath. He was nervous but this was his opportunity. He could do this. Opening the door he step quickly inside closing it behind him, and locked it.

* * *

><p>Kensei turned his face up into the warm water. He had to have been in there at lest half an hour already. But it didn't seem to matter much, he still didn't feel completely clean. He looked up after the door shut but through the semi opaque glass he couldn't quite make out who it was. He shrugged and ran his hands through his hair under the water.<p>

They only had the two bathrooms for all 8 of them plus the kid. Luckily the toilets were at lest separate from the rest of the bathroom area. Of course in both bathrooms the toilets were on the far end from where the door was so in order to get to them you had to go through the bathroom. It had made for some rather uncomfortable run-ins at first. But now they mostly had it down.

* * *

><p>Shuuhei took a deep breath and removed his clothes. He folded them neatly and set them on the counter by the sink. He tried to run his fingers through his hair but caught on a tangle almost immediately. With a grumble he shuffled through a few of the drawers before he found a brush. It didn't take him too awful long to get the snarls out and he ran his fingers through it again. This time it worked much better. Still when he looked at himself in the mirror Shuuhei frowned. It was too long. Returning to his clothes he dug through his pants until he found a hair tie. Leaning back he gathered the black mess and pulled it up onto his head in a haphazard sort of bun and secured it. He took another deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror. He was ready. This was going to work.<p>

* * *

><p>The shower door opened and Kensei immediately stood up straight. His eyes narrowed when he saw who was getting in with him. "Shuuhei. What are you doing?"<p>

The teen bit his lip and closed the door behind him. Kensei looked angry but he'd expected that. Taking a step forward he pressed his body to Kensei's, the spray of warm water hitting his back. Then he looked up almost shyly and pressed his lips to the older man's in a kiss.

Kensei tried not to groan as that naked body was pushed into his own. He told himself not to put his arms around Shuuhei and yet found his hands gliding along the kid's back and pulling him closer. The water beaded along the boy's soft, pale skin and Kensei felt the moister under his hands as he touched his shoulder. His skin was so damn soft, and smooth. He didn't have a single mark on him. Kensei had started getting hard the moment Shuuhei walked into the shower. After the kid had started kissing him his cock was fully erect and standing against his stomach. He grabbed Shuuhei behind the hips and pulled him tight against his body trapping his dick between them. He could feel Shuuhei's against him as well and they slipped together in the water. Kensei groaned and started to kiss Shuuhei back harder. He shoved his tongue into the boy's mouth, opening his lips wide. Doing so forced Shuuhei to open his mouth as well and Kensei heard the boy moan. Somehow the sound snapped him back to reality and his mind was able to find reason again. Kensei pulled back suddenly and shoved the brunette away from him. "Knock it off kid."

Getting pushed back startled him but Shuuhei wasn't to be deterred. Kensei _had_ been kissing him back. He'd felt the man's hard dick against his body, against his own cock. "Why?"

The older man put a hand to his face and rubbed his temples. "I've already explained it to you." It was so hard to think with Shuuhei standing naked in front of him. Naked and _wet_, in front of him. Damn the kid looked good. All Kensei wanted to do was get his hands on him and fuck him. Maybe turn him around and shove him up against the wall, then he could shove his dick up there and fuck him even harder then he had last night. Shaking his head Kensei kicked himself mentally. That kind of thinking was definitely not helpful at the moment.

Shuuhei frowned looking up. Kensei had kissed him back. Even if he was pushing him away now at lest part of Kensei wanted him. That was enough for Shuuhei to keep going. Taking another step forward he put an arm around Kensei's neck and his fingers worked their way up into the soft whit hair causing the older man to look down at his face. "But I want this." He pushed up for another kiss. Before Kensei could make him stop Shuuhei dropped his arm down towards their waists. In a flash he'd taken Kensei's cock into his hand and started stroking it up and down.

The older man had to lean back against the wall of the shower as he gasped. He'd not been expecting the kid to do that. He also hadn't expected to like it quite so much. But the way Shuuhei's hand felt on him was amazing. Kensei was honestly having trouble figuring out what it was that made him react so strongly to the kid. As of yet he hadn't come up with an answer.

Pulling back Shuuhei licked his lips and then he smiled.

Kensei growled. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing?"

Shuuhei shrugged, not stopping his motions. Then he felt a hand on his arm and he was afraid that Kensei was going to make him stop. He needed to do more. Before Kensei could say anything Shuuhei quickly fell down to his knees. The warm spay of the water hit him in the back of the head soaking his hair completely. The strands he'd missed when he was pulling it back now stuck to the sides of his face and down his neck. He brushed them back quickly with both hands and then once again grabbed Kensei's length and pulled it down. He didn't chance looking up for fear Kensei would tell him not to. He just pressed forward and ran his tongue along the warm head moaning softly at the contact and the taste.

Slumping back against the wall Kensei gripped his hands into fists and grunted. The little brat was on his _knees_ in front of him, _licking_ his cock. _'Make him stop. Make him stop!'_ But his muscles didn't obey him and when he felt Shuuhei's tongue on him it was all he could do not to cry out. Looking down he watched the boy explore him. He placed soft kisses and slid his tongue up and down along any part he could reach. _'Fuck he looks cute like that.'_ He didn't dare close his eyes, captivated by the boy now before him. That black hair was pulled into a large mess on the back of his head but the strands that hung lose... the way they clung to Shuuhei's pale skin... It was the same contrast he'd seen last night, Shuuhei's black hair spread out over his white pillows. Damn he'd gotten beautiful, when the fuck had that happened and how the hell had he missed it? Reaching down Kensei put his hand to Shuuhei's cheek and rubbed softly with his thumb. The kid didn't look up at him to intent on what he was doing. But it was just as well. Kensei wasn't sure he could handle eye contact right now. The kid was so damn cute and when he looked up at him it got Kensei hot, really hot.

Shuuhei took a deep breath to smell Kensei's scent and then bent forward for another taste. It was different than what he'd expected. The flavor didn't seem to match any of the possibilities his mind had come up with. It was a sort of nutty, salty taste. Mostly it tasted like the rest of Kensei did only stronger. Letting his eyes flutter shut Shuuhei put his lips to the tip. He sucked softly and let his tongue dip into the small slit on the end. Then he registered the hand on his cheek and finally pulled back his eyes darting up to meet the golden ones of the man above him. The look he was giving him made Shuuhei moan softly before diving back down for more. He didn't break eye contact though and slowly started taking Kensei into his mouth.

The water sprayed the both of them and Kensei had to remind himself to breathe as he watched the droplets slide down Shuuhei's skin. He watched him intently while he swallowed him down and his hand on Shuuhei's face gripped stronger, curling around the back of his neck. The way the boy was looking up at him was almost too much. His face looked so cute, a mix of innocence and eagerness. That look as he sucked down Kensei's cock was one of the hottest things he'd ever seen.

Shuuhei finally let his eyes fall shut but he kept his head up turned letting the water fall over his face. He put both of his hands up to brush the hair away from him again and continued to take Kensei deeper. He was huge. He'd only felt him inside his body last night. He'd never gotten to look at him, or touch him with his hands and the size never fully registered. But he was huge and Shuuhei found it difficult to get him all the way in his mouth. When the head of Kensei's cock bumped the back of his throat Shuuhei moaned and jumped when a hand came down harshly and gripped his hair.

Blinking several times Shuuhei looked up to see the older man panting heavily his eyes glazed and lidded with pleasure. With a little moan the brunette pulled back and sucked on the tip. Sweeping his tongue around the underside of the head Shuuhei was soon diving back down again only to start bobbing.

He closed his eyes briefly before flicking them forward again. There was still about an inch or two that he couldn't get into his mouth. He wanted all of him. Pulling back he bobbed a few times more times. With a shudder he reached up and put both hands to Kensei's hips letting his eyes fall shut again. He pushed the warm length all the way back again and, sitting up a little taller, swallowed.

Kensei dug his fingers deeper into Shuuhei's hair and moaned. Damn if the kid wasn't trying to do what he thought he was doing... Yes. He definitely was. He was trying to take him down his throat. Slumping a little further down the wall Kensei let his head rest back and felt the spray of water on his chest.

Swallowing like that had worked and Shuuhei was currently attempting not to choke on the cock now down his throat. He gulped around him again and moved forward until his lips were pressed all the way to Kensei's pelvis. It hurt a little. It stretched his throat more than what was comfortable but when he swallowed again he felt a spasm go through the hand holding his hair. With a moan he sunk all the way down to the ground spreading his legs so that his butt touched the warm tile. Since he didn't relinquish Kensei's cock it forced the length to tilt down into his mouth. Shuuhei looked up again and he couldn't take his eyes off of that sight. Kensei was slumped down on the wall his head back and his face in an expression of pure bliss.

Shuuhei started shifting his tongue pressing it into Kensei's cock as best he could. He wasn't entirely sure what to do at this point, now that he had all of him. There really wasn't much room to do anything. But closing his eyes he endeavored to forge on. He swallowed again and started sucking almost like he would on a piece of candy. When Kensei's hand clenched in his hair Shuuhei surged forward and sucked harder twisting his head. He wanted to stay like that, with Kensei's cock down his throat but it was too difficult to breath and Shuuhei soon found himself shifting back slowly. It felt odd as the length was pulled out of his throat and he noticed he felt sore. He didn't care though. He pulled all the way back until Kensei's cock popped out of his mouth.

Looking up Shuuhei bent forward once more to lap at the base since that was all he could reach now. Once he'd taken his mouth fully off, the thing had bounced right back up against Kensei's stomach. He took a moment to lap at the hanging sac licking and tasting as he went, caressing them gently with his lips. When he felt the hand in his hair tighten he moaned and rocked back. He wanted to suck on Kensei's cock again.

Setting his face into a some what serious expression he put his hand to the shaft and pulled it down. Hearing a soft moan he looked up to see Kensei still seeming to struggle with himself. He looked unbelievably sexy. It took Shuuhei's breath away.

As he started to lick and suck again he kept his face turned up to watch Kensei as he reacted to what he was doing. He noticed rather quickly that when he drew Kensei's cock into his mouth and moaned it made the man jerk and take deep, almost panting, breaths. There were other things too. Depending on how he moved his tongue where or how hard he sucked on different places all got him different reactions. The hand on his cheek seemed to tense every time Shuuhei did something he liked so he used it as an indicator. Then there was the hand in his hair. At first it had startled him but now he found it comforting. The fingers dug in around the messy bun and massaged at his scalp. It felt good.

He wanted to take Kensei deeper again, but he was worried. His throat still hurt a little bit but... he blinked and then returned to looking up at Kensei swirling his tongue around the tip of his cock. He wanted to take him all the way in again, regardless.

Kensei grunted. _'Damn it.'_ It felt good. It shouldn't feel that good. Shuuhei shouldn't have any idea what he was doing. Honestly he didn't. There were several awkward pauses and he could tell he wasn't really confident in what he did. But he was eager and he was figuring it out quickly. As he continued to lick and suck on him Kensei found the kid was doing more and more of the things he liked. He was learning him. In just that short amount of time. It blew his mind away, not to mention the way he looked like that, down on his knees sucking him off. For Kensei, it was one of the hottest fucking things he'd ever seen. Of course none of his roommates would agree, everyone of them would be outraged seeing Shuuhei like this, down on his knees sucking cock. In anyone else's mind the normally sweet and innocent, naive boy didn't belong with a dick in his mouth, but to Kensei, seeing the brunette sucking him off like that, it was so fucking sexy. Gripping the black hair now with both hands Kensei moaned.

The tie Shuuhei had used to keep his hair up was starting to come out and more of the dark strands were falling down around him. At this point the only thing that was really keeping his hair up at all were Kensei's hands. He pulled Shuuhei's face closer and thrust himself into the warmth, moaning. For a second he actually held the teen there before his brain caught up with his body and he eased off. The brat was pushing him way too far and he was starting to lose it.

Shuuhei felt a bit scared when Kensei pulled him down. He hadn't been completely ready yet but he found the man's cock slipping down his throat anyway. It made him gag much harder this time and for an instant his hands came up but he stopped them from doing anything. He was only held there for a second or two before Kensei loosened his grip.

When the kid was like this it became very difficult for Kensei to remember that he was still only 15 and for the most part had no clue what was going on. He had to somehow keep it in his mind that he couldn't treat Shuuhei like he would a normal lover. _'Fuck.'_ Shuuhei was _not _his lover and he needed to stop thinking of him like that because it was _not_ helping. For a brief moment he tried to stop the kid again but then Shuuhei moaned and Kensei threw his head back against the shower wall. Once again he found that he'd pulled the kid down on him and was holding him and once again forced his fingers to loosen their hold on the dark hair.

Again Shuuhei felt himself pulled down before he was ready but this time Kensei loosened his grip even quicker. When he pulled back Shuuhei closed his eyes and tried to slow everything down. He was fine and there was no need for panic. It's not like Kensei was going to hurt him. He was just getting excited, that was the point.

With a little shiver Shuuhei rocked forward and started sucking on the the stiffness in his mouth again. He picked up his pace and soon he was moving over him fast. He felt the hands in his hair start to pull him forward every so often only to relax and back off. Shuuhei took a deep breath through his nose and then pushed down taking a fair deal of Kensei into his mouth before twisting slightly and pulling back up. He left only the tip inside his mouth and licked at it with his tongue. Pushing back down he put his hand to the base in order to cover the bit that he couldn't get into his mouth without taking him down his throat. It was much sorer this time but he didn't care, he hardly even noticed. He started bobbing up and down shifting and twisting as he went.

Kensei looked down through lidded eyes. He was moving faster now, more regularly. He'd found a rhythm. Damn it. Now he was really screwed. There was no way he'd find the will to try and stop him again, not that he'd really been doing much before. But Shuuhei was getting good at this way too fast and it sent waves of images through his head, images that he should not be fantasizing about partaking in with a fifteen year old boy.

Kensei licked his lips and pulled one of his hands down along Shuuhei's head to rest on the boy's cheek again. With it came several strands of wet black hair which were now pressed to the boy's face. When Shuuhei pulled back to suck his tip and roll his tongue just under the head Kensei moaned loudly. His fingers tightened in Shuuhei's hair digging into his scalp. He moaned again and closed his eyes. Damn, it felt good. He couldn't think anymore. His restraint was falling away faster and faster. Soon he started tugging on the black hair pulling Shuuhei forward and then pushing him back.

Shuuhei closed his eyes and sucked harder. He swept his tongue over the tip every time he backed off enough to bring it up. He noticed that the more he relaxed the more Kensei moved him. When he started to pull back against him then Kensei would back off. Sitting up he dropped his hand from Kensei's cock and let it dangle by his side. He let everything go and allowed Kensei to guide him how he wanted. It wasn't that scary, when he got used to the idea of it, it wasn't scary at all. It was arousing is what it was and he wanted more.

He still sucked and licked but he let the older man move him completely. Soon he was panting around Kensei's dick and he moaned. He loved having Kensei move his head around like that. Paying close attention to what the man was doing Shuuhei started to figure out even more of the things he liked. Then Kensei's hips started to rock forward as well. Both hands gripped the back of his head as the older man pulled him down on his cock again. Shuuhei gagged painfully when a hard thrust sent him even deeper down his throat. He ignored it and moaned again. That seemed to affect the older man so much that Shuuhei started doing it in more regular intervals. Kensei thrust his hips forward forcing his cock down Shuuhei's throat further and again the brunette moaned. It was like he was being given a guide for how to make Kensei feel good. That was knowledge he hoped like hell he'd be able to use again later.

Kensei looked down and watched as Shuuhei let him fuck him in the mouth. Damn he looked cute with a cock stuffed down his throat, with _his_ cock down his throat. His eyes were lidded and heavy and the look of pleasure and excitement on his face was like nothing Kensei had seen before. He couldn't believe that Shuuhei was not only letting him do this but that he seemed to be enjoying it. The way he kept moaning, the way he kept swallowing. Kensei threw his head back and his body shook as he moaned too. Regardless of how good or bad he was the shear desire Shuuhei showed to want to please him blew Kensei's mind.

The thrusts came faster now, harder and Shuuhei's throat was starting to hurt even more as Kensei pulled his cock in and out of it. But even so he love what they were doing. Having Kensei in his mouth was almost as good as having him in his ass. He loved hearing him, feeling the vibrations through his body. At first he'd found the taste of it odd but now that he'd gotten used to it he couldn't get enough. The smell too. He loved the way Kensei smelled and when he was down like this on his knees with his cock down his throat he noticed it was more concentrated. He decided that he definitely liked doing this and very much wanted to be able to do it again. Even if his throat did hurt it wasn't even close to enough to make him want to stop.

Closing his eyes now Kensei moved one of his hands to the back of Shuuhei's head and kept the other on the side just below the kid's ear. He was getting close. He felt dizzy. The fact that he was standing up and the warm water was still running over his body didn't help matters. He couldn't even think. The way Shuuhei's mouth felt on him was so amazing everything else in his mind disappeared. Damn it he was close. For a brief moment Kensei thought that he should let Shuuhei go and pull back. He shouldn't finish in his mouth. But by the time the thought occurred to him he was already cumming and it was too late because everything in his mind went blank and his body simply reacted.

Kensei released with a strained grunt and then a sharp cry. Without even thinking about it he gripped the black hair even tighter bringing Shuuhei closer to his body.

For a brief moment Shuuhei panicked. Suddenly Kensei was pulling him tightly against his body and thrusting hard. He hadn't been doing it like that before. He hadn't been holding him that hard or keeping him that close for so long. Kensei had pulled him up on his knees and gripped his hair so tightly it hurt. Then all of the sudden something shot into his mouth and down his throat. He jerked back but didn't get anywhere because Kensei didn't let go of his hair.

It actually took him a second to realize he was cumming. His eyes snapped open and he looked up at the older man. When he saw him he released a wanton moan all fear and panic subsided. More was sprayed into his mouth and Shuuhei moaned again tasting it. He was loud especially for being muffled by Kensei's cock. The flavor of it was... Shuuhei didn't even know how to describe it. Bitter... and salty too but...

He started choking. He couldn't take much more of it. His mouth was actually overflowing not having enough room for both Kensei's cock and all the cum he was giving him. Shuuhei felt it run down the side of his mouth and along his chin, the warm water soon washing it away.

Kensei couldn't believe how amazing it felt. It was so incredible he didn't even notice how he'd been holding Shuuhei down on him. With a grunt he thrust himself forward over and over again ridding out his orgasm in Shuuhei's mouth. He felt everything ripped from within him coating Shuuhei's tongue and filling his mouth. It was intense and powerful and his eyes rolled back into his head.

As the last of it rushed through him he finally opened his eyes and took a shaky breath. With the combination of the power of his orgasm and the warm water his knees were actually a bit shaky. Slowly he untangled his finger's from Shuuhei's dark hair and watched as the black mess slid down his neck and around his shoulders. Shuuhei pulled back the moment he'd let him go and then bent forward and started coughing.

Putting his hands on the floor to brace himself Shuuhei bent his head. He let most of the milky fluid drip from his lips to mix with the water and flow down the drain. He didn't actually spit but he didn't do much to keep Kensei's cum in his mouth either. After a few seconds, after he caught his breath, and stopped choking, Shuuhei swallowed the rest of what Kensei had given him and he smiled. Wiping the back of his hand over his mouth he couldn't stop smiling. Even if Kensei yelled at him again, which he probably would, he'd still driven the older man that far. He'd done it, now all he needed to do was wait until he stopped being angry at him.

Kensei continued to watch Shuuhei's hair as the boy remained bent over. It clung to his face and along his shoulders. It was completely free now, looking down at the drain he could see the little tie where it rested on the floor of the shower. Taking a deep breath he looked back over to Shuuhei and felt a little bad for how he'd done that. But that feeling quickly vanished when the brunette looked up at him. The kid was actually grinning. That made Kensei growl and he felt anger boil up from his stomach. Damn brat certainly looked proud of himself, as if he'd actually won something.

With a grunt he grabbed him by the arm and pulled up roughly. "Get over here." He turned Shuuhei in his arms and pressed his chest up against the boy's back. Running his hands smoothly over Shuuhei's wet skin he took a long breath smelling the dark hair. It wasn't very strong, what with the water running through it. But still he inhaled deeply.

Kensei gripped his hips and dove forward biting him on the back of his shoulder. He'd been at lest somewhat gentle doing this last night. This time he actually bit him. Hard. Shuuhei arched from his mouth and cried out suddenly. He started to move forward but Kensei grabbed him back and held him there. Pushing Shuuhei's hair aside he took a hand full of it and tilted his head to the left with a sharp tug. Bending over to the bottom of his neck Kensei placed another strong bite. Shuuhei jerked but Kensei held him tightly not letting him go. If that was how he wanted it then that's what he was going to get. Kensei was going to show him how things really went, then see if he still wanted a 'relationship'. The kid had absolutely no clue and it was starting to piss him off. He growled into his ear. "You wanna play. Fine. Let's play."

Shuuhei almost couldn't breath from the way he was touching him. He'd never expected this. He'd thought for sure Kensei would yell at him. Throw him out maybe. But this... Shuuhei shivered as those large hands ran over his body. He felt them on his chest, his stomach, along his hips and down his thighs, up along his ribs and even over his shoulders. They were everywhere, not to mention the bites Kensei was still giving him along the back of his neck.

The older man had him plastered against his body completely and Shuuhei couldn't fully process all the sensations. When Kensei reached down grabbing Shuuhei's cock he jerked again in his arms and tried not to shout. He felt one of Kensei's feet kicking against his ankles and realized he was trying to get him to spread his legs more. Shuuhei complied and as soon as he had he felt the man's other hand dive down to cup him between his legs.

Shuuhei braced himself on the far wall of the shower with both hands. But the moment his back left the warmth of Kensei's chest he felt the hand leave his cock and grab him roughly by the shoulders. He pulled Shuuhei back with a jerk and wrapped that arm around his chest in order to keep him there. The brunette moved to rest his hands on the arm around him but was shocked when Kensei batted them away and then quickly grabbed both his wrists with one hand. Immediately that arm was around him again, this time wrapping over the upper part of his arm and down across his chest. Kensei kept his wrists held tightly while his other hand worked smoothly between his legs.

Gasping Shuuhei closed his eyes and fought to just hold on. Every time he started to slump forward Kensei jerked him back with the hand binding his wrists and the arm he had around him. He didn't seem to be willing to let Shuuhei more than an inch away from him. "Ah!" He cried out when he felt the lips on his back move up to his ear. He nibbled on the lobe and moved up licking the shell with his tongue. It made him shake. That with the way the hand squeezed him between the legs and Shuuhei found he could barely breathe at all. He couldn't concentrate on all the different things that were happening to him.

Kensei pulled Shuuhei's balls up and cupped them in his hand. As he rolled them Shuuhei moaned and would have fallen over if Kensei hadn't been holding him so tightly around the chest. Then Shuuhei felt the hand on him open and Kensei's fingers stretched forward and recede back along his body his balls still pressed firmly into his palm. Shuuhei bit his lip and whimpered feeling them slip back and forth across the sensitive skin. Somewhere along the way his head had fallen forward which Kensei didn't seem to think was okay. He jerked the arm he had around Shuuhei's body up, pulling his arms with it. The motion caused the brunette to toss his head back and as soon as it landed on Kensei's shoulder he felt lips licking and kissing along his jaw. The kisses didn't last long though before he was biting him again though he had moved much lower before he did. Every once in a while Shuuhei would start to slip back down but the moment he did Kensei was jerking him up again keeping them close together.

Shuuhei whimpered softly and tilted his head along Kensei's shoulder. But his whimpers soon turned to cries as Kensei's hand moved up and gripped his cock roughly. He started stroking him hard and fast not even a bit of delicacy. Shuuhei almost couldn't handle it. He'd never been touched that way. It almost hurt. He squinted his eyes shut tightly and tried to breathe. He couldn't seem to get his lungs to work right. It was so fast. "Uh!" Suddenly Kensei changed the way he was moving. He started twisting his wrist when he pulled up. This caused him to slow slightly but it was still far more intense then he could really handle. When Kensei started rubbing his thumb into the head of his length Shuuhei very nearly screamed. He wouldn't be able to take much more. The way Kensei touched him felt good but it was so rough and almost painful at times. It was too much, too intense. He couldn't get his mind to focus. Panting loudly his torso slumped forward and if it hadn't been for how tightly Kensei had his arm around him he would have fallen down to the floor. Once again Kensei jerked him up making Shuuhei cry out sharply. He felt a tongue on his cheek, then lips. They were moving in, moving down, moving everywhere. Shuuhei shook his head trying to get his thoughts to line up properly, dislodging the mouth from his face. It was too much. It was all too much. With a choked cry Shuuhei felt tears roll down his cheeks it was so intense.

He started cumming and his whole body shook in Kensei's arms. The older man had at lest slowed down then. If he hadn't Shuuhei was sure it would have killed him. As it was it was one of the most intense orgasms he ever had.

Kensei milked him all the way through and then let go of his cock and jerked the kid one final time against his body. He bent close to whisper in his ear. "That's what you wanted wasn't it." He released his hold and the teen only stayed standing for a moment before he collapsed to the warm tiles. When Shuuhei didn't move Kensei snorted and reached out to turn off the water. If he wasn't going to move on his own fine, he'd just leave the kid there. He start to move towards the glass door but made the mistake of looking back.

Seeing Shuuhei slumped like that on the floor made him stop. When he looked at the kid like that his anger vanished and was instead replaced by a tightness and pain in his chest. He couldn't be completely sure if Shuuhei was crying or if it had just been from the water. He just looked so lost and Kensei couldn't help feeling like shit. That was not something he should have done. Angry or not, he shouldn't have treated him so callously and it was certainly no way to get his point across.

With a sigh he bent and eventually rested down on his knees in front of him. "Come here." He pulled Shuuhei into his chest and shook his head a little when the boy rested against the crock of his shoulder. There was a slight hesitation before arms wrapped around his back and neck but soon the kid was gripping him tightly. "I'm not trynna be a jerk but damn it Shuuhei you make it hard. You can't do shit like this. You just can't. And I know I'm supposed to be the responsible adult and all but..." Kensei scoffed. "I guess I'm failing at it. I've never been good with kids."

"I'm not a kid." Shuuhei mumbled.

"Yes you are. And this has got to stop."

"Please. Please let me stay with you again tonight."

"Shuuhei? Did you hear a word I said?"

"I know but... please. I won't do anything I promise I just..." He bit his lip and closed his eyes tightly. "I don't wanna be alone..."

It was his own damn fault the kid was being so clingy. Honestly he'd treated him like crap. That was supposed to be the point. But... for whatever reason he just couldn't stand to see Shuuhei hurting like that. It was really starting to piss him off that he cared so damn much. It didn't make any sense and he didn't like things that didn't make sense.

With a sigh Kensei held him closer. He should say no. There was absolutely no way letting Shuuhei sleep with him again would be a good idea. The only answer was no. Kensei paused. "Yeah alright... but just for tonight. Tomorrow you go back to your own bed and you stop bugging me. And you never do anything like this again."

"Okay..." Shuuhei nodded. "I won't. I promise."

Kensei exhaled slowly. "Okay. Now come on. Get up and get dressed." Kensei stood himself and when he looked back down at Shuuhei the boy only nodded. "Here." He offered his hand which Shuuhei took and he hauled him up with it. "Lets go." Kensei opened the shower door and stepped out of it. When he looked back over his shoulder though he noticed Shuuhei stumble. He probably still hurt from last night. Kensei took a step towards him and put his hands on his waist to steady him. "You gonna be okay?"

Shuuhei just nodded. "I'm fine." He liked the way it felt, having Kensei's large hands on him like that. He just wanted to lean forward and rest against him.

"You don't look fine."

He bit his lip. "I... I'm fine. Really." The way Kensei touched him so softly, the look in his eyes, it was almost like he really cared about him... like he might even return his feelings. Shuuhei looked away quickly. He couldn't think like that anymore.

"It still hurts from last night, doesn't it?"

Shuuhei almost cringed. It did, it hurt alot, every time he moved in fact. "W-well... yes but... it's really not that bad."

"Don't."

"What?" Shuuhei looked up at him honestly a bit confused.

"Don't do that. You're hurt and it's my fault. Don't lie to me about it."

"But-" Shuuhei started to protest but stopped instantly once Kensei looked down at him.

"Don't argue with me either."

"I wasn't trynna argue... I just..." Shuuhei looked away again. "I'm sorry."

Kensei shook his head and grabbed a towel. "Here." Shuuhei took it a bit hesitantly but was soon using it to dry his skin. After Kensei saw that he was indeed okay, or at lest that he wasn't going to fall over, he grabbed another towel and started to dry himself as well. "Get dressed. Dinner should probably be ready any time now. After you eat you can go to my room if you want. Otherwise go do anything you need to and I'll meet you there."

Shuuhei nodded and started to pull on his clothes. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me kid. Just get goin'."

The brunette finished dressing quickly and ran his hands through his hair to get some of the tangles out before he hurried off out the door. Kensei smiled after him despite himself. There was something about that kid. Just... the little ways he did things, usually things he didn't even think about or knew he was doing. They all drove Kensei crazy.

The man turned to look in the mirror and didn't much care for what he saw in his reflection. What was he doing? There was no way he should let Shuuhei stay with him. Nothing good could possibly come out of it. The only thing that could happen here was for Shuuhei to get his heart broken. Though honestly Kensei had already pretty much ensured that. _'Fuck.'_

Shaking his head he pulled on his own clothes and set off to find Mashiro. It was usually her turn to wake Shuuhei up after Rose which was rather lucky for him. He didn't have to worry much about convincing her that she didn't need to bother. She was always up for a way to avoid work of any kind. The only thing he was worried about was making sure she didn't tell anybody else. Anyone besides her would find it suspicious.

* * *

><p>The kid stared at him all through dinner which had been annoying. Mostly because he was too damn cute for his own good. Shuuhei loved food. Usually he'd help whoever was making dinner that day just because he enjoyed to cook. Then he had a way of eating that just made him look like he'd been starved his entire life. It was so over the top it was almost comical. Kensei wasn't really sure he'd ever known someone that ate quite like that. Shaking his head he smiled. The kid was cute. He had to give him that at lest. Shuuhei was damn cute.<p>

* * *

><p>Persuading Mashiro had been simple like he'd thought. He managed to convince her that if she told the others she wasn't going to do her job they'd be upset at her for trying to dodge work. He was pretty sure it would work. She hadn't seemed to think about it much so he was confident she believed him.<p>

Making his way back to his bedroom Kensei saw the door was closed. He opened it to see Shuuhei already inside waiting. When Kensei walked in the boy smiled up at him. He was holding his green sweater in one hand and sitting on the bed a book in his other.

Kensei scowled all previous thoughts abandoned. "Get up. I gotta fix the bed." He walked over to his closet and pulled out another set of sheets. The top ones were red but he didn't grab them instead going for the blue ones underneath. Turning he saw Shuuhei had stood but was looking down at the floor. He looked guilty.

Kensei sighed. "It wasn't your fault kid."

Shuuhei jerked up to look at him wide eyed. "But I was the one who got the others... who..."

"Shuuhei it was my fault they're ruined. I should have been more careful with you."

"But-"

"Don't argue."

Shuuhei snapped his mouth shut and Kensei sighed. "Here." He handed the kid the sheets and walked over to where his others still lay in the corner. "Put those on the bed and I'll be right back." The green sweater caught his attention again. The only other thing Shuuhei seemed to have was his book. Once more Kensei found himself sighing. "You can... you can go ahead and wear that sweater to bed if you want. Shouldn't sleep in your clothes and it's startin' to get pretty cold at night." He gathered the sheets wrapping them up so that the blood was all on the inside. Leaving the room he didn't look back at the brunette.

Kensei walked through the house and out the back door shaking his head. Stupid kid. Tossing the sheets into the dumpster he then turned and went back into the house. He didn't want someone else to see them so he didn't want to put them in the trash inside. He doubted anyone would go sifting through the dumpster.

Returning to his room Kensei saw Shuuhei lying on his bed on his stomach. The sheets had been replaced as was the comforter. He saw the boy had already changed into the sweater too. He had his book opened and was reading quietly. The image had Kensei fighting not to moan. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to tell the kid to wear that. He'd just managed to push away the image of how cute he was in it from this morning. It hung down so low he wasn't even sure if Shuuhei still had his underwear on or not. Kensei felt a shudder go through his body as the possibility that Shuuhei wasn't ran through his mind. About a minute later he regretted that because now the images were impossible to push away. He pictured Shuuhei sitting on his cock that sweater hanging down past his thighs hiding the way their bodies were joined together. Kensei could almost feel his hands slide up the boy's hips and waist as he lifted him up and down making him ride his dick. Closing his eyes Kensei could see the kid as his face turned bright pink and he moaned softly at the feeling of having Kensei's cock so deep inside of his ass. Turning to the side he opened his eyes and put a shaky hand through his hair. He told himself to breathe and to calm down. It was just a damn sweater. With a slow breath he turned and walked over to his closet. "Thanks kid."

"Huh?"

He pulled off his shirt and tossed it into the laundry. "For puttin' the sheets on."

"Oh. Umm... your welcome.

Kensei nodded and turned back to the closet. At this point it really didn't matter much if Shuuhei saw him naked or not. They'd already had sex not to mention what they'd done earlier in the shower. Kensei removed the rest of his clothes and then pulled out a pair of lose pants. He tugged them on and turned back around to look at the kid. He was still staring intently at his book but Kensei noticed a blush on his cheeks. He tried not to laugh.

Closing his eyes Kensei moved back towards the bed. "Move over kid." Shuuhei did so quickly and he got into bed next to him. The comforter had been folded down so Kensei just rested on the sheets.

Shuuhei looked up from his book and smiled nervously. "It's still to early to go to sleep."

"Yeah, I know." Kensei looked at the kid and slowly drew his hand down his cheek making the kid blink and look up confused. "Why did you do that?"

"Huh? Do what?"

"In the shower. Why did you do that?"

The boy shrugged and moved a little closer to Kensei. "I just... I wanted to show you I wasn't too young. That I could do the stuff that you'd want."

With a sigh Kensei flopped onto his back. "Kid I'm not gonna go over that with you again."

"I know. I promised I wouldn't bug you anymore. I'm not going to."

"Good." Kensei's eyes shifted to the side to look at the teen. At first he couldn't place the emotion but after a few seconds he realized it was defeat. Kensei had never seen that particular expression on him before. He felt that same tightness in his chest from earlier and scowled. Propping himself up to sit against the headboard he looked around the room desperate for anything that wasn't Shuuhei in his green sweater with that expression because if he didn't he was probably going to do something stupid. Like fuck the kid again.

When his eyes landed on the table where Shuuhei had put his clothes Kensei almost groaned. The kid _wasn't_ wearing underwear it would seem. That was information he needed to know just then. _'Shit.'_ The images of Shuuhei riding his cock wearing his sweater came flooding back to him. He needed a distraction. Rolling to his side he picked up his own book from the night stand. When he looked back down he saw that Shuuhei had already gone back to his own. The kid loved to read. It seemed he always had his head buried in a book.

After a moment's pause Kensei slowly closed and then reopened his eyes. He sighed at himself for what he knew he was about to do but he couldn't help it. "Hey kid."

Shuuhei looked up at him. "Yeah?"

"Come here."

Tilting his head curiously the brunette pushed up from the bed and came over to where Kensei was laying. The older man put his arm around his shoulders and pulled him against his side. He seemed a little shocked at first but he soon settled against him and smiled as he laid his head down on Kensei's chest. The teen opened his book again and this time when he started reading he looked happy.

Having the kid snuggled against his side like that was nice. His arm wrapped around from Shuuhei's shoulders all the way down to his waist where his hand rested. Unconsciously Kensei pulled him closer to his body and rubbed his hip softly with his thumb. He liked having Shuuhei near him. It made him feel calm somehow. He couldn't explain it but that was the effect the kid had on him whether he liked it or not.

As he started reading he didn't notice the time as it passed. He didn't notice when Shuuhei yawned and set his book down. He also didn't notice how the kid snuggled up next to him even more and put an arm around his waist and he didn't notice when he closed his eyes and fell asleep. It all felt normal to him so none of it triggered the passage of time. He just kept his arm tightly around the boy and ran his fingers softly up and down his hip and side. Nothing felt out of place, nothing felt wrong.

Tilting his head Kensei rested his cheek on Shuuhei's dark hair and as he turned another page he realized he was tired. When he yawned he decided it was time for him to go to sleep.

Setting down his book on the night stand Kensei turned back and looked down to see if Shuuhei was asleep. It had been a very bad idea. He lost his breath looking at the boy cradled in his arms. Kensei brought a hand up and pulled some of the boy's wild hair back behind his ear. How had he never seen how cute he was? Kensei bent forward and closed his eyes pressing a kiss to Shuuhei's forehead. When he pulled back he reached down to grab the blanket, careful not to jar the boy laying against his chest. Though a second later he realized with the way Shuuhei slept it wouldn't much matter. Kensei smiled and shook his head a little. He reached over towards his night stand again and turned off the lamp. The only light left in the room was from the moonlight coming in through the window.

Kensei scooted down on the bed until he was laying flat on the mattress and not his headboard. He knew he shouldn't but he couldn't stop himself from looking back at the boy next to him. Rolling onto his side Kensei put his other arm around the brunette as well and pulled him closer. Resting his cheek on the dark hair Kensei felt his eyes become heavy and he was soon fast asleep. He slept more peacefully that night than any other since they'd come to the living world.

~Tsuduku~


	3. Chapter 3

Title: So Wrong Chapter 03  
><strong>Paring:<strong> Muguruma Kensei/Hisagi Shuuhei  
><strong>Rating:<strong> R  
><strong>Labels:<strong> M/M, Angst, Minor (15), AT  
><strong>Chapters:<strong> 03  
><strong>Word Count:<strong> 13,844  
><strong>Pages:<strong> 24  
><strong>Continuation:<strong> Yes, I have the next few chapters completely written and I am currently editing them. I also have a total of 8 chapters partially written.  
><strong>Beta:<strong> TheOtherSarshi  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I do not own Bleach nor do I make any money off of this.  
><strong>Summery:<strong> 100 years ago Shuuhei doesn't go home when Kensei tells him to and gets caught up in everything and by the time anyone notices that he's there it's too late and they decided the best option is to take him with them.  
><strong>Notes:<strong> I know it took me _forever _to get this up and I'm still not done editing the rest of the chapter but I felt like I just needed to get something up. Thank you all so much for your patient and your love. Also mad props to my beta TheOtherSarshi she is love.

Kensei growled. Three days. It had been three god damn days. Shuuhei had kept his word, he'd stopped bothering him and Kensei hadn't been able to sleep ever since. In _three days_. In a fit of frustration, he threw his pillow against the wall and then slumped back on the bed. He was starting to get grumpier than usual and his head was fuzzy, so he couldn't concentrate properly. He needed to get some sleep.

What was wrong with him? He felt confused. There was too much crap rattling around in his brain. Of course, with the lack of sleep it got even harder to decipher his own thoughts. He didn't have a clue what was going on in his own head, which was not something he was accustomed to. He usually evaluated the situation, came to a conclusion about what he felt, needed, or wanted, and then acted on it. He'd had plenty of relationships so it wasn't as though he was in unknown territory. He'd even had several intimate and long lasting ones. He'd been in love, he'd had his heart broken, he'd broken other people's hearts, it was how things worked. And he'd never much cared for the type of person who couldn't handle or admit their emotions. They were just feelings, you got to choose how you reacted to them.

But with Shuuhei... he was confused. He honestly didn't know how he felt about the kid. That was odd for him in and of itself. It wasn't like he had feelings that he was trying to hide or avoid, he just honestly didn't know what they were. He _did_ want to be close to him, but he wasn't sure how far he wanted that closeness to go. Of course, even if he did have feelings for the brunette that didn't mean it was a good idea to act on them. With a groan, he rolled over onto his back and checked the clock. It was already three in the morning and he just couldn't get his mind to calm down enough to let him sleep. It was because of that god damn kid. He couldn't stop thinking about him. Kensei let out a tried sigh. His mind was filled with thoughts about the brunette and, as much as he hated it, most of them were about having sex with him.

The problem was, he was avoiding it. What he needed to do was address the issue, but he didn't want to. Growling, Kensei forced himself to go over what had happened because it was the only way to figure it out. The boy had spent two nights with him in his bedroom. The first had been... he still couldn't believe it had been that good. The way Shuuhei reacted to him, the way he felt underneath his body... Shuuhei kept arching up against his chest and the way the kid clutched at him was exhilarating. Kensei loved that. He loved how those hands griped and scrambled against his back trying to find purchase on something. Every time Kensei had moved inside of his body Shuuhei grabbed onto him tighter and his back arched further. He _knew_ he was making Shuuhei feel good and that was hot.

Just remembering was enough to make Kensei want to moan. Then... after, when Shuuhei had fallen asleep on his chest, Kensei had felt a level of peace he'd never known before. Just watching him... touching his hair... it had all somehow calmed him. And when did he get so damn cute? It was like... one minute he was a whiny little brat and then, over night, he became... Kensei groaned and turned over again.

The second time... after the shower... he'd liked that too. Shuuhei just seemed to fit so neatly against him... more so than any lover he'd ever had. Scowling, Kensei wiped a hand over his face. Shuuhei was _not_ his lover and he definitely shouldn't be thinking of him in those terms. The kid was too young to be _anyone's_ lover. Sure, he could be someone's boyfriend or crush, or something like that, but kids weren't _lovers_. Kensei shot a glance back over at the clock. He was never going to get to sleep. Not like this, and he was afraid another sleepless night would send him over the edge. Then he'd really do something stupid. He needed to get some sleep and clear his head. Then he could think about the issue logically. The only problem was he couldn't get to sleep.

He shook his head and returned to looking at the ceiling. He _missed_ him. He actually fucking missed him. It wasn't as if he'd died, or even gone away. He was still living with them, sleeping just a few rooms down the hall, but Kensei _missed_ him. There was absolutely no logic what so ever in feeling like that. Even if he were dating him, there was no cause or reason to miss him since the damn brat was _right_ there. Kensei groaned again. He was going insane. That had to be the answer. It was the only thing that made sense.

Shuuhei had kept his word. He hadn't done anything like the shower again and he'd left him alone entirely. He no longer felt the familiar presence, or heard the soft sound of feet behind him. He hardly even saw the kid. It was like he was avoiding him or something. Kensei sighed. _Of course_ he was avoiding him. He'd broken his heart after all, then he'd yelled at him, treated him like crap, and basically told him to stay away from him.

He'd always hated how the damn kid followed him around all the time. It was annoying from the moment he'd started doing it. Once they'd finally gotten Shuuhei out of the corner, and the kid got used to everyone and where he was, everything about his behavior changed. Almost everything. He was still timid and shy, but he was also curious, about _everything_. He watched and observed like he were analyzing and taking notes. He basically just ran around the house quietly watching. But while the others had approached him and engaged him Kensei had ignored him.

After a year he was the only one the kid still followed around silently like that. After another year he'd stopped reacting to it. Shuuhei following him was just something that was. Wherever he went the little brunette was there, just around the corner and almost out of sight. Kensei had never realized that the lack of objection hadn't come from simply resigning himself to the action, but instead because it had grown comfortable. He drew comfort from the fact that the kid was always there, just a few steps behind him.

It had been happening less and less as time went by and, as he got older, Kensei had started to feel more and more agitated. He'd never even realized that. Not until the behavior stopped altogether and now that it had Kensei missed it, consciously. His absence actually made his chest ache, which wasn't something he thought actually happened to people. He always just figured it was an expression. But he felt empty inside, like a void had been left by the boy and now it was taking up residence in his heart. It didn't matter how active or loud his home was, to him it just felt... off. When he walked through the house everything felt cold, like there was something wrong, something missing. It was the damn kid that was missing and _that_ was what was driving him crazy. Kensei growled, the rumble of it coming up through his chest before the sound echoed quietly in the room.

Sitting up abruptly, he turned and swung his legs over the edge. "Shit," he muttered. This wasn't working, just laying here like this, night after night, going over again with himself what happened. It was making his head hurt and it wasn't conducive to good sleep. Standing, he quickly walked the length of his room and went through the door, closing it softly behind him. It took him all of a minute to make it down the hall to Shuuhei's bedroom and less time to slip inside.

Closing the door, the man stood just inside the room and looked at the boy. He lay in his bed curled up under his blanket, sleeping peacefully. Kensei watched him as if trying to make sense of the kid. It was completely baffling that a fucking _kid_ could have him so worked up. He'd reached the point where all he really thought about anymore was the damn brat. Kensei sneered and tired to snap back to reality. He wasn't worked up, he just couldn't sleep. People did stupid things when they didn't sleep for long periods of time.

As a captain he'd had more than his fair share of sleepless nights, but almost never more than one back to back. He knew that without sleep mistakes were made, and when you were deployed to take out a large group of huge hollows terrorizing Rukongai, your strategy and preparation were what decided who lived and who died. A mistake wasn't an option. Choices had to be made and they had to be made quickly, or people would die. Losing lives because you weren't able to think clearly wasn't acceptable. There would always be casualties, it didn't matter what he did, that was just a fact he had to live with, but every man who had died under his command had died accomplishing something. Whether it was to complete a mission, defend against an attack or to gain information it didn't matter, Kensei had never been casual about the loss of one of his men.

As he leaned back on the wall watching, Kensei noticed the pain in his chest grow the longer he stood there. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and made his way to the side of Shuuhei's bed. Tomorrow was Sunday, Shuuhei's day off. They let him sleep in on Sunday, so no one came to wake him up. There was a relatively low risk of getting caught, and he wasn't even really doing anything wrong. It wasn't like he was going to have sex with him again.

Reaching out, Kensei touched Shuuhei's hair softly. The brunette smiled in his sleep and turned over towards the wall. The older man took a deep breath, and then put his hand to the kid's shoulder and shook him. At first he got no reaction. He waited a few a few seconds. Nothing happened so Kensei shook him again harder.

Shuuhei grunted in his sleep and rolled onto his stomach. "Do 'wannagetup... 's'not time yet..."

Kensei growled. "Kid, wake up."

Blinking a few times the boy brought his hand up to rub at his eyes. "Huh?" he mumbled sleepily. "Wa's goin' on?"

"Scoot over."

Hearing that voice, something inside Shuuhei clicked and he was instantly awake. "Wha- you... you're in my room."

"Yeah, now scoot." He pulled the blanket up so he could get into the bed. Shuuhei found himself being shoved over towards the wall as Kensei moved in behind him.

"Is this a dream?"

He let out an almost frustrated sigh. There was a perfectly legitimate reason for the kid to be confused so it really wasn't fair of him to be getting angry with him. But Kensei just didn't want to deal with it. "If it was, what would you expect me to say?"

Shuuhei bit his lip. "Not that. Why... what are you doing here?" He felt arms wrap around him as Kensei pulled him against his chest.

"Don't ask stupid questions. Go back to sleep."

"That's not a stupid question."

Kensei growled again. "I'm here, alright. That's what you want isn't it?"

"Well, yes but-"

"Then stop complaining and go back to sleep."

"I wasn't complaining." Shuuhei mumbled. "I was just curious.

Kensei held him tighter and pressed his cheek to the top of Shuuhei's head. "I can't sleep. I haven't slept in three days and it's your fault."

"My fault?" Shuuhei started to move forward to look at Kensei over his shoulder, but felt the older man pull him back gruffly against him.

"I keep thinking about you and it's pissing me off. I can't sleep like that. Now shut up and close your eyes."

"But..."

"Would you rather I left?"

"No!"

"Damn it, don't yell." Kensei put a hand to his face as the kid shouted at him. He didn't much care for loud over the top behavior. It was why he didn't much care for children. Children were loud and obnoxious and Kensei was a man who very much valued his peace and quiet. He couldn't count the number of times gotten angry with Mashiro for doing the same thing around the division house. But at lest she was a good fighter and a decent fukutaichou, as long as she wasn't doing paper work.

Shuuhei sunk back ashamed with himself. All he ever seemed to do was mess up and make Kensei even more upset. "It's just... that wasn't what I meant and I didn't want you to get the wrong idea."

"That's fine, but you don't need to yell it kid. I'm right here. You don't have to get so excited about everything all the time."

Shuuhei looked down. "I'm sorry." He was always so nervous and tense around the the former captain. The relationship between them, or at lest the possibility of a relationship, was so important to him. He had such strong feelings towards the other man and he felt like he'd burst if he didn't get them out.

With a sigh, Kensei closed his eyes. "Don't be sorry, just don't do it anymore."

He wanted Kensei to like him and he tried so hard not to annoy the man. But everything he did just seemed make everything worse. Shuuhei wanted to make him happy, but he'd settle for not making him angry the time. "I... I'll try not to."

"Good. Now go to sleep."

"But-" Shuuhei bit his lip. He was so confused, he just didn't know what to do. Kensei said to leave him alone but now he was here in his bed room, he didn't know what that was supposed to mean. He was trying to, but now... he wanted to know what this meant, but he was afraid that if he asked any more questions the man would leave. This was a good thing, having Kensei come to his room like this. He was pretty sure about that, but what he wasn't sure of was _how_ good it was. If Kensei was coming into his room like this then that had to mean he was getting used to the idea of Shuuhei being around him and how he felt about the older man. But that didn't mean he was returning those feelings, just that he wasn't pushing him away. Still, it was a start. At the very least he didn't have to keep avoiding the older man. If Kensei was initiating the contact, then he was saying it was okay for Shuuhei to be close to him... right? He didn't want things to go back to how they'd been in the last three days, and if he kept bugging the older man he'd leave and nothing would change. So Shuuhei left his questions unasked. He just closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around where Kensei was holding him. "Alright... Um... good night...?"

Kensei just grunted at him. It was less than a minute before he was asleep.

* * *

><p>Yawning, Kensei snuggled closer to the person he was holding. It took him a moment to realize where he was and who he was holding. What in the hell had he done? Berating himself internally he tried not to groan. He'd done something stupid, really, really stupid. But he was here now and now he had to figure out what to do. Taking a deep breath, Kensei looked down at the boy in his arms. Shuuhei was laying on his side facing him, his hand resting against the large chest of the man holding him. Kensei noticed he had both of his arms wrapped tightly around the boy keeping him close. One around Shuuhei's shoulders, resting between the kid's body and the bed, and one slung over the brunette's hips. A moment later he realized he'd actually hook one of his legs around Shuuhei's too and his eyebrow twitched.<p>

Never letting go of the kid he looked over his shoulder at the clock. It was almost ten. _'Shit.'_ He never slept that long. Kensei ground his teeth together. Well no wonder, after not having slept for so long it made sense, that didn't stop him from getting pissed off about it though. He automatically tried to reach out with his reiatsu to sense who was there. When he couldn't an ever present frustration bubbled up to the surface. He was really getting sick and tired of the damn gigai Kisuke had put them in. It was impossible to sense anything more than a foot or two away. Of course even when you were close the feeling of reiatsu was always dull and muted. It was like seeing in black and white when you were used to color. There was also no kidou no shikai, let alone bankai. Shunpo was possible but it didn't matter how fast or how far they used to be able to go now they were bogged down and sluggish. It was like running through syrup.

Of course none of that was the worst of it. They couldn't communicate with their zanpakutou either. If they could speak with them then the hollows would be able to come through as well. Hearing the bastards talk was unnerving to say the lest. But Kensei really didn't like being unable to communicate with Tachikaze. He missed the calming aura that came with Tachikaze's presence. Kensei had always had a short temper and in his youth it had been even worse and gotten him into trouble on more than a few occasions. But Tachikaze was always right there with him, helping him and guiding him through every challenge he faced. He liked knowing his zanpakutou's opinions, he didn't always agree with them but talking with the spirit always helped him to work things out. When they'd first been cut off from their zanpakutou Kensei had just felt lost. He was more than capable on his own but he preferred not to be. So many shinigami had an aversion to using their zanpakutou's power when they didn't have to. Kensei had no such aversion. Whatever he may be able to accomplish alone he would accomplish much faster and much better with Tachikaze. Everything he'd accomplished he'd done so with the help of his zanpakutou and now that Tachikaze had been forced into silence Kensei felt as though he'd lost his best friend.

Pausing Kensei looked down at the brunette he still held in his arms. He couldn't help wondering what Tachikaze might be thinking about all of this. He'd probably tell him he was a fool and he wouldn't have been wrong. But somehow Kensei couldn't help wanting to be close to the boy. He hadn't made a single move to untangle himself from the brunette once since waking and he honestly didn't feel like doing so anytime soon. Laying like that, with the kid in his arms... Kensei closed his eyes and rested his cheek against the messy black hair. What was he doing? He shouldn't have been in there holding the kid in the first place. If someone came in and saw him they'd have alot of questions that he really didn't feel like answering just then. Mostly because he wasn't sure of the answers himself. Kensei looked down at the brunette again. _'I can't stay here with you kid.'_

Squeezing the boy a bit tighter the light haired man dropped down to give him a soft kiss on the top of the head. Then, carefully, he extracted himself from the still sleeping boy. He probably didn't need to be quite as careful as he was, but he didn't want to take the chance of waking the brunette. Finally getting out of the bed, Kensei took a moment to look down at the teen still on the mattress. With a shake of his head the man turned and started to walk away. This had all been so stupid, he couldn't believe himself for doing it. Still, he only got about 3 steps away before he stopped, his back to the little bed in the corner. Kensei closed his eyes as he stood there, in the middle of the room. Finally he growled and turned around walking back over to the kid.

He didn't know what he was doing. While his head was clearer, sleep hadn't help Kensei resolve his dilemma where Shuuhei was concerned. He still wasn't sure what he felt about the kid. Crouching down beside the bed he reached out and touched the boy's cheek. Shuuhei smiled in his sleep just like he'd done the night before. Seeing him smile like that made Kensei smile too and he almost leaned forward to kiss him. Kensei scowled. He needed to get the hell out of there. This time when he stood he walked all the way over to the door and slipped out. He didn't stop until he reached his own room and opened the door going inside.

Kensei scowled as he took off his dirty clothes and threw them at the hamper. He never should have gone last night. Even if he couldn't sleep he would have gotten to sleep eventually. Going into the kid's room had been a bad idea. He had no idea how Shuuhei was going to interpret it, but he could only hope that when he woke up he'd believe the whole thing had been a dream. His scowl only deepened as he pulled out new clothes from his dresser. He got dressed quickly and was out the door again in a flash.

* * *

><p>Shinji was sitting in the living room reading a book and ignoring Hiyori as best as he could. She was screaming about something. Apparently he'd done something or hadn't done something. Either way, he didn't really care. At lest, he didn't care right up to the point she smacked him in the face with her shoe.<p>

The blond flew back out of his chair and landed on the floor. He made a small sound of pain as his face slid into the wall. Holding his nose, he sat up, a sunken expression on his face. He was about to stand up and try to find where his book had flown to, when Kensei walked into the room and almost stepped on him.

"What are you doing on the floor?"

Shinji looked up at the other man with a slight scowl. "Hiyori got pissed about something."

"Ah." Crossing his arms over his chest, the white haired man looked around the room for a moment before returning his gaze down to the man on the floor. "I need to talk to you." Kensei grabbed Shinji by the shirt and yanked him to his feet. The blond barely managed to find his footing before the taller man let go.

Shinji blinked at him. "Okay... What's up?"

Kensei's eyes slid to the side looking at everyone else in the room. "Come on." He turned and walked through the dinning room and into the empty kitchen. Turning, he saw Shinji had followed him. The blond wasn't saying anything but he did look rather confused.

"Are you okay?"

"No, not really."

"Alright then..." Shinji paused. When Kensei didn't say anything he sighed. The man was impossible. Obviously he wanted to talk about something but instead of just saying it and getting it out in the open he was standing there in the corner, his arms crossed over his chest, stewing, something Kensei did all to well. "Spit it out already."

"Why did you tell Shuuhei that I'd send him away if I knew he had a crush on me?"

Shinji's mouth fell open. "He actually told you? So that why he's been moping about for the past three days. What did you say to him?"

Kensei scowled, he resented the implication that it had all been his fault and Shuuhei was completely innocent. Of course to all of them Shuuhei was a perfect angel, which, for the most part, he was. "Nothing bad. Not really. I turned him down, of course, but I wasn't mean about it."

"Your definition of bad's probably not the same as his. Or most people's really."

"I wasn't mean." Kensei snapped. "By any definition."

"Oh really? What did you say to him?"

Leaning up against the counter Kensei put his hands in his pockets. "I said I wasn't mad and no one was sending him away."

"And...?"

"And what?"

"That can't be all you said, did he really let it go at that?"

His frown deepened. It would have been too damn easy if the kid had just let it go. Of course he hadn't, that's why he was in this whole mess to begin with. "I told him I didn't feel the same way and that even if I had it wouldn't 'ave happened."

"Inappropriate doesn't really begin to cover it." Shinji almost laughed at Kensei's ability to understate matters. "It's bad enough that he's only 15 but Shuuhei's so enamored with you, at that point it's boarding on abuse." He laughed again at the idea of it all.

Kensei took a deep breath, narrowing his eyes at the interruption. "I know that." The frustration came more from the fact that he was still upset about what he did and less about Shinji actually interjecting. The the blond's laughter was really starting to grate on him. "Anyway, he told me he wasn't too young and went on and on about how he could handle something like that and that I should give him a chance." Hesitating, Kensei drew a hand back through his hair. After so many years heading up the ninth division lying and deception came rather easily for Kensei. He didn't even really think about it anymore. When you were running a division in charge of investigation being able to get the information you want without giving any up yourself was a necessary skill. It was also a skill Kensei had long since mastered. But somehow, this time, it seemed much harder. It shouldn't have been but the kid was getting to him and it was disrupting his concentration. "He kept buggin' me about it the next day until I got mad at him. I wasn't really very nice that time. Now he's moping." Sighing, Kensei rested back against the counter. "I can't stop feeling... I don't even know but I just-"

"Guilt, maybe?" Shinji gave him one of his annoying grins and Kensei had to struggle with himself not to punch him.

"I don't think so. But things aren't how they're supposed to be. I want to know how to fix it." Kensei met the other man's eyes directly. "What am I supposed to do?"

Shrugging, Shinji smiled at him again. "How would I know? You're the one that broke his heart." Shinji really didn't have much sympathy for the other man. Kensei had always been an ass to the kid. He honestly didn't care about Kensei's problems. Suddenly it all made sense, Shuuhei's behavior. No wonder the kid was so sad. If he'd finally gotten up enough courage to put himself out there only to have Kensei slap him down, it would have been incredibly painful for him. No wonder Shuuhei was so withdrawn lately.

"Well maybe if I'd had some kind of warning I could have handled it better," he snapped back. Kensei felt like he was being attacked.

"I never thought he'd tell you. That's why I told him he'd get sent away. I figured that would be enough to deter him."

"Why would you do that?" Kensei didn't like the fact that the others all seemed to have known about how Shuuhei felt and yet none of them ever said anything about to him. What the hell did they think he was going to do?

The blond raised an eyebrows at him. "Because you're an ass and you're almost 7 times his age. Nothing good could have come of him telling you. It's not like you'd actually go out with him. The only real outcome was for Shuuhei to get hurt. It seemed better to just let him have his little crush. Eventually he'd realize what a jerk you really are and he'd grow out of it."

Kensei glared at him. "I'm not that bad." He was really getting sick and tired of them all portraying him as some kind of monster.

"Yes, you are. You've never wanted anything to do with him and you have no patience for kids. We asked you dozens of times just to say something nice to him every once in a while, but even that was to much for you. You've never done that kind of thing, you just analyze and react. Mostly that's a good thing. You're level headed, more so then the rest of us, and you're grounded. But when it comes to kids that kinda thing isn't the best approach, or in relationships."

"Alright. But that still doesn't tell me what I should do."

"I don't know. Like I said, it never actually occurred to me he'd tell you."

"He didn't." Kensei wiped a hand over his face and took a slow breath. What was he doing? He didn't have the slightest clue. "I figured it out. You guys are always talkin' about how much he's grown up and how much you like him. But I never got to see any of that because the moment I walk into a room he just stops talking." Kensei ran a hand over his face. "He was following me around like he always does and I finally decided I should try and talk to him."

Shinji cocked his head to the side dubiously. "Really?"

"Don't look so shocked. Despite what you might think I'm not heartless and he doesn't cry anymore, so I figured it was worth a try. When I sat down next to him he started blushing like crazy and he couldn't even form a word. I figured it out."

"Huh, didn't really expect that either. You never spend any time with him so I just figured as long as he didn't say anything you'd never know." He shrugged. "I honestly don't know what to tell you except to leave him alone for a while."

"What? How is leaving him alone gonna make anything better?"

Shinji sighed. "You know, you never did know much about having a broken heart."

"Hey, I've had a broken heart. I know it hurts, but you get over it. Life moves on with or without you."

Shinji rolled his eyes. "Yes, that's how you deal with it, and good for you. But Shuuhei's fifteen."

Signing, Kensei crossed his arms over his chest again. "The damn brat thinks he's in love with me."

"Of course he thinks he's in love with you, he's a kid. He doesn't have a frame of reference to know what love it. What do you expect from him?"

"Yeah, that's what I told him."

"Well, okay then. Just let him be so he can heal." Shinji came up and patted Kensei's shoulder, which earned him a glare. He chuckled at him. "Isn't that a good look." Still smiling, he moved away from the taller man. "Anyway, we're all going out this afternoon. There's a street fair. Well, except for Lisa. She just got her new books." Shinji chuckled. "But you should come with us." Kensei was obviously upset, even if he didn't want to show it. It would do him some good to get out of the house and away from the problem pledging him. It would also probably do Shuuhei some good to get some time alone.

Kensei shook his head. "No. I need to stay here and think."

"What is there to think about?"

"There's alot for me to think about. Thanks anyways though." Kensei pushed off the counter and waved back at the blond as he left the kitchen. "I'll see ya."

Shinji tilted his head at the man's receding back. Then he gave a little shrug and went back to the living room to find his book.

* * *

><p>Shuuhei woke slowly and smiled. He loved Sundays, because they let him sleep in. He drifted in and out for a few minutes before something registered in his mind. He sat up suddenly awake and looked to his side. There was no one there. <em>Had<em> it been a dream? Shuuhei bit his lip and looked around his room. The clock showed it to be one in the afternoon and he felt relief sweep through him. Kensei wouldn't sleep that late. He always got up early.

Reassuring himself Shuuhei got out of bed and stretched. He would have thought the man would have at least said something to him before he left. Though, Kensei probably did and Shuuhei just didn't remember. The teen had a tendency to talk in his sleep. More than once someone had gotten him up, and spoken to him. He would respond, coherently, and then as soon as they left, he was asleep again and didn't remember a thing. Rose got so mad at him for that sometimes. Something like that definitely could have happened.

Shuuhei walked over to his closet and started to get changed, pulling out a fresh pair of pants from the draws. Laying them on top of the wood dresser he rummaged for a moment to find a shirt. Last night had been a good thing. He was finally going to be given a chance. As he pulled off his sleeping clothes and threw them into the hamper, he found he couldn't stop smiling. With more than a little excitement he pulled on a the clean pants and shirt. Grabbing a belt he quickly put it through the loops of his pants so that they would stay on. Looking at himself in the mirror his smile fell a bit. Everything he wore was always so huge on him. The only person who was remotely close to him in size was Hiyori and he didn't especially like the idea of wearing her clothes. He pouted a bit, but it didn't last long. Soon he was grinning again. He needed to go find Kensei. With that thought, he all but ran out his door.

* * *

><p>Walking into the kitchen, Kensei started riffling through the cupboards. He was looking for something to eat. He'd been so busy thinking over last night and what had happened with Shuuhei that he never even thought to get breakfast. He still didn't know what to do about the kid and Shinji had been remarkably unhelpful even for him. Usually the man was obnoxious but Kensei had mistakenly hopped the blond would be able to offer some kind of guidance. He didn't often ask for help but he was hoping that reaching out might actually lend him something useful. Dealing with kids had never been easy for him. They were too emotional and they didn't think. Shuuhei was no exception to that. While he did tend to be smarter than most brats that didn't mean he had the first clue about how the world worked.<p>

Frowning he slammed the cupboard shut. It would seem he'd have to cook something as there wasn't much on hand. Just as he moved off towards the pots and pans he felt arms wrapped around his waist from behind. Kensei stiffened. "What are you doing?"

Shuuhei pressed his cheek to Kensei's back and nuzzled against him. "Huggin' you."

Kensei turned around, but the action wasn't enough to break Shuuhei's hold on him. If he really wanted him to let go he'd have to do something more drastic. "Why?"

"Huh?" Shuuhei looked up at him and cocked his head to the side, confused.

"It's a simple question."

"Well..." The boy faltered slightly. "But... I thought..." Shuuhei looked around for a moment before his eyes fixed on Kensei's again. He wasn't sure why Kensei would be upset with him after what had happened. Isn't this what he wanted? He was the one who came to Shuuhei. The only thing he could think of was that Kensei was worried someone might see them. "No one else is here... except for Lisa-san and she just got her new book so she's shut herself in her room. She won't be out of there for a while..." Shuuhei smiled a bit awkwardly hoping that was the answer Kensei had been looking for. It wasn't.

Kensei sighed. "So?" He knew last night had been a bad idea. Now that he'd had some sleep and his head was finally clear he knew exactly how bad of an idea it had been. So much for the prospect of Shuuhei thinking it was a dream.

"What..." Shuuhei looked so hurt. "What do you mean 'so'? Last night-"

Kensei took Shuuhei's hands and pulled them from around his waist freeing himself from the embrace. "Nothing happened last night." He turned and started to walk away towards the other side of the kitchen. He needed to get some distance between them. Being that close to the brunette made it harder for him to say no.

Shuuhei faltered. "What do you mean? You... but you came into my room... you... you held me and..." This wasn't right. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

Leaning up against the counter Kensei wiped a hand over his face. "Listen. Last night... I couldn't fucking sleep alright. It didn't mean anything. Don't go reading more into it than there really is."

"But... but being with me you fell asleep right?" That was a good thing and Shuuhei was clinging too it.

"Your point?"

"I helped. Being with me... you couldn't sleep without me. I helped you." He didn't understand but he was trying to. There were two stories, there was the one where Kensei came into his bed room and held him all night long and cared for him. Then there was the other story, the story where Kensei hated him and kept pushing him away. Shuuhei didn't understand why everything was suddenly shifting from story a to story b. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

Kensei scowled. "Fine, for whatever reason being next to you helped me sleep but it was stupid. Don't let it go to your head. It's not gonna happen again." He was reaching. He didn't have a good reason for why he did what he did and he sure as hell couldn't explain it. He felt his resolve slipping. He knew that having any kind of relationship with the kid was out of the question. But the more Shuuhei pushed the harder it was for Kensei to remember that. He needed to get the kid to stop bugging him before he did something really stupid.

"But-" Shuuhei swallowed hard before exploding. "You don't make any sense to me!"

"Yeah, well that makes two of us kid."

Shuuhei looked indignant more than anything else. "But you like me! You had sex with me! You let it happen, you didn't stop it! So that mean's you wanted to do it. You have to have feelings for me at lest on some level."

Kensei took a step forward making Shuuhei fall back. "That's not how it works kid. Maybe in a perfect world but not this one. What happened between us wasn't because I had feelings for you, it was because you were squirming around on top of me and I let that get the best of me." No matter what he did the kid didn't listen to him and he was pissed. It was time for the damn brat to grow up and realize that the real world didn't work like it did in his perfect little fantasy. "Just because people have sex doesn't mean they care about each other. People have sex all the time for no other reason than they want to. You'd know that if you weren't still just a kid."

"I'm not a kid!" Shuuhei lunged forward and pushed up with his arms around Kensei and kissed him. He was so sick of hearing that. Everyone acted like they could write him off because he was younger than all of them and he couldn't stand it anymore. Why didn't Kensei understand? What did he have to do to make himself be heard? He was desperate and he had to do something to make the older man realize he _wasn't_ just a kid and that he knew what he was getting into.

The kiss didn't last long. Kensei jerked away from him before Shuuhei could really deepen it. "Don't do that."

"But-"

"I said no damn it! Why do you never listen to me?" He liked kissing the kid. He liked it too much, that was the problem. It was too hard to stop.

"Because..." He needed the man to understand. Shuuhei loved him so much, he'd do anything for him if Kensei would just let him in. "Last night I thought..." He looked up at the taller man desperate to be understood. "I just wanna be close to you. Why won't you let me?" Shuuhei pressed up on his toes and wrapped his arms around Kensei's neck. Closing his eyes he leaned in and kissed the man again this time slowly. All he wanted was to be allowed at Kensei's side.

The older man closed his eyes and, for a brief second, leaned in. Kensei wanted to be with him. He wanted Shuuhei so much he was losing his ability to say no. Being with the kid made him feel good, it made him feel happy. Kensei had felt cold for so long. Ever since leaving Soul Society. The world felt dull and lifeless to him now. But Shuuhei was warm to the touch. He could feel the kid's energy wrap around and envelop him in his presence. Kensei put his arms around Shuuhei's waist and pulled him against his chest kissing him deeper. He lifted his hand and tangled his fingers in the thick black hair bringing the boy even closer. His other arm stayed low, wrapping around Shuuhei's hips and held them tightly together.

Shuuhei made him feel again, like he did before their world had been turned upside down and they'd been exiled from the only home they knew. Kensei missed his life from before, they all did and it had made them bitter and dark inside. Shuuhei wasn't. Shuuhei was full of light and energy. He didn't miss Soul Society, nor did he want to go back. The kid wasn't stuck living in the past, eaten up by the desire for revenge or feelings of hate. Shuuhei had never felt the pain of betrayal nor did he know what it was like to be stabbed through the back by a man you once trusted. His heart wasn't weighted down by the knowledge and the truth they all had to live with. He was happy here, in this world, living with all of them and Kensei was starting to understand why everyone gravitated to him so much. He had an ability to take the pain away. When he smiled his whole face lit up because he knew nothing of the pain they felt everyday worrying what would happen if they lost control. They were monsters now and Kensei wasn't sure they'd ever be able to fix what had been done to them. It was a fear that ate at them day and night and when you live with something like that your ability to smile is diminished. But the worst thing Shuuhei had to worry about was studying for his midterms or trying to avoid Yoruichi's teasing. They wanted to protect that, they wanted to protect _him_ from ever having to feel like they did and when you were doing that it was much harder to sit around and feel sorry for yourself. You could lose yourself in him. He loved his life and he was the only one of them who did.

Kensei felt Shuuhei grip tightly to his shoulders and he continued to deepen the kiss. He held the boy tightly against his body not wanting to let him go. Jerking the teen closer to him he tilted his head matching their lips perfectly. He could kiss the brunette like this for hours if he was aloud to. Shuuhei made him feel alive again and he didn't want to lose that. But the world came crashing down all too fast and he pulled back suddenly like he'd been burned.

Shuuhei seemed startled by the sudden absence and when he looked down into those confused grey eyes Kensei found it hard to breathe. Bringing on hand up he cupped the boy's cheek softly in the hollow of his palm. He wanted to be with with the kid, he wanted to be able to love him but he couldn't. "I'm sorry kiddo. It's not gonna happen. I've already told you that. I can't just-" Kensei froze sensing a presence. When he turned he saw Lisa standing stock still in the doorway. _'Shit.'_

"Kensei... what...?"

"Shuuhei, go to your room."

"But-"

"Damn it, stop arguing with me all the time and go."

Shuuhei pulled away dejectedly and hurried past Lisa, not even looking at her.

"Kensei. _What_ is going on?" She didn't want games, she wanted to know the truth and she was serious.

Without a word the white haired man walked out of the kitchen into the living room, his friend following quickly behind him. Grunting he flopped onto the sofa. "He's driving me crazy."

"That doesn't answer my question." She eyed him suspiciously, there was no way that could have been what she thought it was. Kensei was _not_ just making out with Shuuhei in the kitchen. There absolutely _had_ to be another explanation for what she had just seen. She just needed to get him to tell her what it was before he brain exploded.

"If I tell you something, will you promise not to kill me?"

"I can't promise that it depends on what you did."

Kensei glared at her. "Fine. Then I won't tell you."

"Oh come on, don't be like that." She sat down next to him on the sofa having calmed down a bit from her initial shock. "I won't kill you. Now what is going on?" It couldn't have been that bad. It was more than obvious how Shuuhei felt about the older man. Maybe he'd just managed to get up the courage to say something. Lisa almost smiled, no wonder Kensei was so pissed off, that was definitely a situation he wouldn't know how to deal with. It all fit neatly together when you looked at it like that. Of course her mind was conveniently ignoring the fact that Kensei had been kissing the teenager back.

He took a deep breath. "You also have to promise not to tell any a' the others."

"Damn Kensei, what did you do?" Now she was even more intrigued.

"Your word. You won't tell anyone else."

"Yeah, okay, fine. I won't tell anyone. Now, what happened? Why was Shuuhei kissing you?"

Kensei sighed. "You remember that morning about 5 days ago when Rose couldn't find him and he was in my room?" She nodded. "Yeah, he didn't have a nightmare."

"Oh?" Lisa sat up a bit on the cushion.

Kensei groaned and scrubbed a hand over his face. "The damn kid thinks he's in love with me."

"We noticed." Yeah, she was definitely correct in her suspensions, Shuuhei confessed and now Kensei was pissed because he didn't know how to deal with it. She almost felt sorry for the man. Of course that still didn't explain what Shuuhei had been doing in his room.

Kensei glared at her. "Well, I wasn't aware of it until that night."

"Seriously. You hadn't figured it out?" She raised her eyebrow and gave him a disbelieving look. He had to have been at lest a little suspicious.

"Do you want me to keep going?"

"Fine." Obviously interrupting him was just pissing him off and she didn't want to make him too angry before he told her the rest of it. She was always up for juicy secrets. "What happened?"

He took a deep breath. The easiest way was to just say it. "We had sex."

There was a moment when Lisa didn't react, when her ears refused to hear what Kensei had actually told her, when here brain couldn't understand what he'd just said. That moment was over quickly.

Lisa's world started breaking its self down and rebuilding all in an instant. Usually the idea of her friends having sex didn't bother her, even if it was weird stuff, because honestly whatever it might have been she'd probably done it. Of course 15 was a bit young in her book, but under normal circumstances she wouldn't have batted an eyelash. But these were not normal circumstances. This was not just some average 15 year old. This was _Shuuhei_. Shuuhei who they had taken care of since he was a little boy, who _she'd_ taken care of since he was a little boy. She'd never much cared for kids, especially whiny ones, but there was something different about Shuuhei. Once she got used to him, once she'd gotten to know him, he just wasn't like any other kid she'd ever met and for the first time in her life she'd felt that maternal instinct.

Sure, there had been little Nanao-chan, but that had been very different. Nanao was cute and adorable and Lisa hadn't minded spending time with the little girl, but that little girl had also been a member of the Gotei and Lisa had never felt any more protective of her than she had over any of her men. With Shuuhei it was very different. He had been a scared little boy when they'd found him, no more than a child with no ability to protect himself. He was sweet and kind and unbearably sensitive sometimes but he was smart too and there was talent there.

At first Lisa had done her best to ignore the child like Kensei had done. But that had all changed over the course of just one evening. Lisa still felt sick every time she thought about it. There had been a woman at a bar and she'd more than caught Lisa's attention, so she'd brought her home, and left her alone in their house. It was such a stupid reason, she had to settle a bet with Kensei, and when she'd gotten back the bitch had been holding Shuuhei with a look on her face that told Lisa all she needed to know.

_'What a cute little boy. I didn't know you were into this kind of thing too.'_

The memory sent a wave of nausea through her body. She'd thrown the woman out that instant and very nearly fell down, she was shaking so hard. Shuuhei hadn't understood any of it and she'd never really bothered trying to explain it, it was something she wanted to forget. But their relationship had changed that night. It was when she had really started caring for Shuuhei.

Lisa looked up at Kensei, a mix of shock and disbelief on her face. For years she'd felt an almost overwhelming need to protect the brunette and Kensei had come in and ruined it all in a single instant. She was angry, and upset but more than that disappointed. How could Kensei, of all people, do something so thoughtless. He never acted rashly. "How could you... what were you thinking?"

Kensei looked away not able to meet her eyes. He hated himself for what he'd done and he didn't have an explanation, that almost made it worse. He'd always been the type of man to take responsibility for his actions but this time he couldn't. He knew he'd done something terribly wrong and he couldn't explain it. It was eating him up inside and he didn't want that to show on his face. "I wasn't." He'd expected yelling, so the lack of it was throwing him off. But he stayed still, he refused to fidget or back down, but all the same he couldn't look at her.

"How... you don't even _like_ him." She still couldn't wrap her head around the idea of it, the two of them together.

Kensei only offered a shrug. "I don't mind him so much now."

"Oh really! So not that he's had sex with you you're okay with him!"

Kensei jerked back confused for a moment. "What? No! That's not how I meant it!"

"Then how did you mean it?"

"I just meant now that he's not a little brat any more."

"Oh my god, Kensei. How could you... how could you _do_ that to him...?"

"I didn't mean for it to happen."

"Then what did you _mean_ to happen Kensei?" She snapped. "You don't just _accidentally_ have sex with someone!"

Now she was yelling at him, that was more like it. This Lisa was one he was used to, even if that didn't help him, at lest he had familiarity on his side. Kensei ran a hand through his hair as he thought. "I don't know."

Closing her eyes, Lisa took a very long, very deep breath. She wanted to yell at him, but right now yelling wasn't going to help. She needed to know what happened, she needed to know the whole story before she overreacted. "I just... I need to know two things, Kensei."

He nodded. "Okay, that's fair." When he looked up at her he noticed that she at lest seemed outwardly calm and she certainly seemed to be taking this better than any of the others might have. "What do you need?"

She took another deep breath. "Did you hurt him?" She knew Kensei, she knew the type of man he was, hard, rough, non apologetic, and that personality definitely transferred to the bedroom. He'd never had any use for delicacy and he'd certainly never shown any towards Shuuhei.

Exhaling slowly, Kensei closed his eyes. He didn't know if the better option would be to lie or to tell the truth. As he thought back on the night, on what he'd done... The look of pain on Shuuhei's face was still etched in his mind. He was angry with himself and didn't want to talk about it. But he'd been honest with her so far and hopefully she'd continue being reasonable. Kensei nodded slowly. "Yeah... at first."

Lisa felt her fists clenching at her sides. She knew it. Kensei was a damn good lover, she'd had a little personal experience in that. But he wasn't much for the gentle side of love which was fine by her, but for Shuuhei... "He's just a kid and he _really_ cares about you."

"I know." The words stung. He could still remember the tears in Shuuhei's eyes from his initial penetration. He hated himself every time he saw that image. Especially because of how much he'd enjoyed the feeling of it. The brunette had been so warm and his body had felt so good under Kensei's hands. He'd let himself get carried away and he'd actually made the kid cry because of it. He'd taken Shuuhei's innocence and no one should lose their virginity that way, with so much pain.

"You took advantage of him."

"I know." Closing his eyes, he swiped a hand over his face. Even with that she was still relatively calm. But Kensei couldn't help the feeling that a storm was coming on. "What was the second thing?"

Lisa was still trying to get over what Kensei had just told her. But there was still one more thing she needed to know before she decided what to do. "Are you planing on pursuing him?"

Kensei shook his head still covering his face with his hand. "No. I never planed on this happening in the first place." Somewhere deep in his chest he felt a pain at those words. He didn't recognize but it hurt so much he could barely breath.

"So you're just going to break his heart then."

Kensei's head wiped around to look at her. "None of this was intentional," he snapped.

"It doesn't matter if it's intentional or not. You... what were you thinking?"

"I already told you! I wasn't thinking." He couldn't give her an answer he didn't have.

Lisa took another deep breath to try and calm herself down. "I can't do this."

"What?" As she started to stand Kensei looked up preparing to follow her. What the hell was she talking about? What couldn't she do? Talk to him anymore? Was she just giving in and going to pretend like she didn't see anything? That didn't really seem like her. "What do you mean 'you can't do this'?"

"I mean I can't do this. Not yet." She had to know Shuuhei's side before she could decide how to act.

"Oh. Then when?" He was a little pissed off that she was just going to leave now.

"I need to talk to Shuuhei first."

Kensei let his breath out roughly and turned away. He supposed that was fair. At lest she wasn't trying to kill him. "Yeah."

Lisa couldn't look at him. She still didn't really know what to feel.

* * *

><p>Without knocking Lisa opened the door to Shuuhei's room and entered quietly.<p>

"I didn't say you could come in."

"Well, that's good since I didn't ask."

Shuuhei huffed from where he lay in his bed and didn't bother looking up. "Why does everyone treat me like a I'm a baby?" He had no idea what they'd been talking about but he was pretty sure he'd been integral to the conversation.

"Because you are a baby."

"I'm 15."

"Yes, and the youngest of us is 73."

He crossed his arms over the pillow and turned his head to the side. He really didn't know what she wanted but he wasn't going to get sucked into saying something that got Kensei into trouble.

Lisa shook her head and moved over to the bed. She sat on it's side and rubbed Shuuhei on his back between the shoulders. "So... how are you doing?" It was a lame way to start she knew but it was the best she could muster as the moment.

Looking up at her his face was an odd mix of surprise and confusion. "Since when do you care?" She definitely wanted something, he just didn't know what but he knew he had to be careful what he said.

"Shuuhei. We all care about you. If we hadn't then we wouldn't have taken you with us." Her voice was soft, or at lest as soft as Lisa could make it, she always seemed to have that hint of harshness in her even when she was trying to be kind.

Frowning, Shuuhei looked away again. "But you guys never tell me anything," he said plainly. Maybe he could turn the conversation, though he doubted it he still had to try.

"Okay, well why don't you ask me then. What do you want to know about?" She had to give a little before he was going to open up to her, that much she knew. But much beyond that dealing with kids wasn't her strong suit.

"Seriously?" He gave her a questioning look honestly not believing she was willing to talk to him. He had been expecting her to redirect him. Now he honestly wasn't sure what she was trying to do.

She tried not to snap at him. "Yes seriously. Ask me anything."

He narrowed his eyes at her knowing there was no way she was really going to tell him everything he wanted to know. "Why did you guys come to the living world?"

Lisa mentally stumbled. Shuuhei had caller her bluff. The kid was keen and she should have seen it coming. "Well, that's really-"

"You see!" He threw his hands up before turning over to lay back down on his stomach not looking at her. "I know there's something going on with everyone, but none of you has ever bothered to explain it to me so it's a little hard to really believe that you care sometimes. Especially when you guys just randomly send me to Kisuke-san's for days at a time." Forgetting the surrounding events Shuuhei shot off on a tangent. Pushing up a little he looked over his shoulder at her. "Did you know that he is completely insane?"

Lisa laughed. "Yes, we are all well aware of that." He seemed to be relaxing, or at lest not focusing so much on why she was there. That was definitely better.

The teen grumbled. "If you know then why d'ya guys send me over there all the time? I'm afraid to sleep when I'm there."

"I'm sorry, Shuuhei. It's a difficult thing to talk about. Even we aren't one hundred percent sure what happened, so it makes it hard to explain to someone else."

"Yeah... but why do you guys always make me go stay at Kisuke-san's in the first place?" Now he was fixating. Since he had her here anyway and she was at lest trying to communicate with him he was going to make absolute sure that one of them knew he _did not_ like that.

She smiled again. "Because we have nowhere else for you to go. Crazy as he may be, he _is_ trust worthy." Lisa paused. "Mostly. Even so, Yoruichi's there too so between the two of them we're relatively confident they can take care of you for a few days at a time without scarring you horribly."

"Are you kidding? They're _worse_ when they're together."

She waved her hands dismissively. "Well still, that's not the point. He does likes you though, you know."

Shuuhei gave her another rather odd look like she'd grown a second head. "How did you get that conclusion?" As far as he could tell the shop keeper hated him.

She laughed. "Because if he didn't he'd do much worse then teasing and playing jokes on you."

Shuuhei frowned at her. "I don't think I believe you."

"Believe what you want to, he and Yoruichi do like having you there. That's why they're always so willing to let you stay with them. Didn't you ever wonder why you actually have your own room over there? They could have just rolled out a futon for you in the hallway."

Shuuhei didn't answer her. He didn't have a good comeback for that one. "I still don't like it over there. I never know what he's gonna do next, and she's even worse."

"Well, we wouldn't send you if we didn't have to, but the times we do are when it would be too dangerous for you to be around us."

"What does that even mean?" Shuuhei threw up his hands in frustration. She was just coming in to talk to him? To answer his questions? Well he knew that was crap from the get go so now he wished she'd just get to the point.

Lisa sighed. "It means we're all going through something that's very scary sometimes and it's dangerous. That's all I can really tell you right now."

Shuuhei nodded but he was still grumbling. "Yeah okay... thanks for tellin' me somethin'." She was being condescending and treating him like he was even _younger_ then 15. But at this point he just wanted her to say what she'd come to say and leave him alone. He was still pretty frustrated about Kensei's reaction to him in the kitchen.

"You're welcome. Now how about you tell me something."

"Oh? What's that?" There it was, he knew she wanted something.

"Like what happened between you and Kensei." Obviously going round about wasn't working, it was best just to be blunt then. "I've heard his side but I wanna know yours." Again her voice was soft, or at lest as soft as she could make it. She wanted to encourage him, not interrogate him.

Shuuhei blushed bright red and turned away again. He wasn't expecting that, though in all honesty he probably should have been. She'd seen them kissing so he knew that's what they had to be talking about. There was no other reason for her to come into his room. "Nothin's goin' on..."

"Don't lie to me Shuuhei. He already told me the two of you slept together." Her voice got a little sharper and he flinched.

"He did?"

"Yes. He did."

Shuuhei sat up abruptly. "It wasn't that bad. Honest. I mean, it hurt when he first started, but after a few minutes it wasn't that bad anymore and there wasn't that much blood and it only really hurt for the one day after so please don't be mad at him. Please." He took a deep breath after the hurried explanation and waited worriedly for her response.

Lisa blinked at him. "Hurt... Blood? There was _blood_?"

"Ohh..." Shuuhei sunk back a little ways. "He didn't tell you that part did he..."

"No. He didn't."

Shuuhei turned away and cringed. "Oops." So much for not giving anything away.

"He hurt you? He... he made you _bleed_? How much?"

"It wasn't that bad and-"

"_How much blood Shuuhei_?" Her voice was dead serious and Shuuhei didn't dare lie to her.

"Well... he said it was more than normal, but I didn't really think it was that bad... but I did ruin the sheets and he had to throw them out. But it wasn't bad after, like I said, not really. It only hurt when I sat down and it was only bad for that first day. But it was my fault anyways, so please don't be angry."

"I don't care what I said I'm gonna kill him." Lisa stood abruptly intending to leave.

"No wait!" Shuuhei grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. She stopped and looked down at him waiting. Though it seemed as if she was ready to dismiss whatever he said, still Shuuhei had to try. "Please. If you yell at him... if you yell at him he'll pull away from me even more. Even if I can never be with him I don't want him to hate me and if you yell at him then he will. Please Lisa-san."

"Shuuhei." She took a deep breath and sat back down. "You realize that there is no 'if', right? The two of you can't and _won't_ be together like you want. What happened the other night can't happen anymore."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" He flopped back down on the bed in exasperation. "I'm in love with him. Why doesn't anybody believe me?"

"Shuuhei. You're too young to know what love really is."

"That's what he said!" He shouted bitterly. "Everyone thinks I'm too young, but I'm not too young! I know what's going on in my own head better than anyone else, so why does everyone think they can keep telling me what I'm feeling?"

Lisa took a deep breath. _'Stay calm. It's not his fault.'_ "Shuuhei, it isn't like that. I believe that _you_ believe you love him and I'm not trying to tell you how you feel. But I don't think that what you're feeling is actually love, even if that's how you're interpreting it. The reason I say you're too young is because you haven't experienced enough to be able to tell the difference between being in love and having a crush. All you have to go off of is what other people have told you so you can't really interpret your emotions properly yet. That's part of what makes what Kensei did so wrong."

Shuuhei looked away frowning heavily. "Yeah, well wha'da you know anyway."

"Alot more than you."

Pouting, he rolled back over onto his stomach. "You can say it was wrong all you want, I'm not going to believe it."

"Oh really?"

Shuuhei nodded.

"Well then how would you feel about it if I told Rose?"

Snapping his head around to look at her Shuuhei's face fell. "You can't."

"Oh really? Why can't I? If nothing the two of you did together was wrong then what's the harm in telling him?"

Shuuhei pleaded with her. "Please. Please don't tell them." He looked away dejectedly. "I don't... I don't want everyone to know that I... They would all look at me differently and... I know that... I mean..." He took a very shaky breath and wiped a hand over his face. "I don't want Rose to look at me like that so please."

"Look at you like what Shuuhei? I thought you said you didn't do anything wrong."

"_I_ don't feel like it was wrong, but I know that isn't how Rose 'll see it. And he'll he'll look at me..." Pausing the brunette averted his eyes. "He'll look at me like..." Shuuhei sniffled but he didn't cry, he forced himself not to cry. "...like he's disappointed in me." He couldn't stand the thought of it. Rose had always taken care of him. If he had a question he'd go to Rose because Rose was the only one who took the time to explain it to him every time. Shuuhei respected Rose and he looked up to him. The tall blond was the closest thing Shuuhei had to a parent now and he didn't want to let him down. He knew that Rose wouldn't be mad at him but it would change the way he looked at him and the brunette didn't want that. Rose would never be able to look at him the same way again and he wasn't ready for that. "Please don't tell them. I know your mad but it wasn't even Kensei's fault. He was good to me. He really was. Even if it was bad at first it got better and he was really aware of me and my feelings. He..." Shuuhei looked away again. He could still remember Kensei's touch on his body, the way he'd held his hand, it made him feel loved. "He really took his time and he made me feel good and he was really... gentle."

"Shuuhei, none of that matters." She had to make a conscious effort not to sigh at him. He just didn't get it and trying to explain it to him felt like she was banging her head against the wall continuously.

"But why not?" He started getting desperate again. He wasn't shouting, but he did raise his voice. "Why doesn't it matter that he treated me nicely, that he was caring towards me? That should make a difference."

"It doesn't."

"Why not!"

"Because he shouldn't have been having sex with you in the first place and he _did_ hurt you. Even if he was gentle after the fact that doesn't excuse what he did in the beginning. What it boils down to is that he wasn't careful enough with you, _especially_ considering it was your first time. There's just no excuse for that. Even if you put aside the fact that he shouldn't have done it in the first place the way he treated you makes it unforgivable. It doesn't matter that he made it better later. He still hurt you."

"He didn't hurt me like that on purpose and he knew that he'd messed up when it happened. He tried to stop, but... I wouldn't let him."

"Oh _you_ wouldn't let _him_. That's what you're saying?"

Shuuhei nodded. "Yes. He tried to pull back I and grabbed him and then..." He bit his lip and blushed. "I started moving around and stuff..."

"Shuuhei..." She took a deep breath. It would seem that yes, he was old enough. "That doesn't matter. He should have stopped regardless." She felt like a broken record. She just kept saying the same things over and over to him, that it was wrong and that Shuuhei was too young. Honestly she didn't really know what she was expecting to get from him, just that she needed to hear his side of the story. But the more she spoke with him about it the more frustrated she got and she was starting to lose her cool. She didn't feel like she was really getting anything across to him. She needed to slow down, take a deep breath and remember that he was just a kid. She couldn't treat him like a soldier.

"But I didn't want him to. I wanted him to keep going. I wanted... I'm not sorry about what happened and I don't regret it."

"Shuuhei, he didn't just have sex with you, he took your virginity from you."

"So! I wanted to lose it to him. It's mine isn't it? Don't I get a say on who I give it to? I'm in love with him and I wanted to be with him! Don't you get it? Maybe I didn't always think about him like that but in some way, I've loved him ever since I was nine! I've always wanted him to hold me and I'm not gonna be upset over something I've wanted for years and I'm not gonna regret it either!"

Lisa fought not to yell at him. He was acting like a fool and a large part of her wanted to slap him for being such an idiot. Throwing words around like that, words that he didn't even understand, he didn't even know what he was talking about. He was just shouting. She scoffed. Whether he liked it or not he was still a dumb kid and he still needed someone to look out for him, because obviously he couldn't do it for himself. He couldn't even separate out gratitude from love.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath to calm down and reminded herself that Shuuhei was still just a teenager and his world was still painted in black and white. He hadn't done anything wrong. Not really. He just hadn't learned how to distinguish his emotions yet and that wasn't his fault. He was completely enthralled with Kensei, he saw him through rose colored glasses and no one could change his mind. He cared more for Kensei then probably anyone else including Rose. He would do anything the man asked him to. He was so desperately trying to get the approval of his hero and Kensei had taken advantage of that. It would have been absurd to expect Shuuhei to say no or tell him to stop. The blame here was entirely Kensei's. The problem was getting the kid to realize that and let it go. But that was easier said then done, especially at fifteen. Unfortunately, her patience was wearing thin. "Shuuhei..." She put her hand back to his shoulder but he slapped it away and sat up again.

"Don't! Don't patronize me! You have no idea how I feel! Why can't you just leave me alone!"

With that Lisa hit the end of her patience. She grabbed Shuuhei's arm and jerked him forward. "You ask why we always treat you like a baby. Well, maybe when you stop acting like one we'll stop treating you like one. Don't just go around throwing temper tantrums and don't assume you know everything about us either. I know what it's like to care for someone who doesn't care for you back so don't throw crap like that around. Are we clear?"

Shuuhei sunk back embarrassed. "I... I'm sorry..." She let him go and he slumped back down, this time on his side. He couldn't look at her, he was just so upset and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't keep himself from getting completely overwhelmed by it. Nothing felt right anymore and he didn't know what do do. "I just... everything feels so... I don't even know I'm just... I'm always so angry now. I never used to be so angry. But now I'm always frustrated and it doesn't feel like any of you understand me or even cares to try."

"Okay that's bullshit and you know it." Lisa gave him a rather sharp look. She was getting tired of him not thinking before he spoke. "If we didn't care then we wouldn't have let you live here."

She was right and he knew she was right. That didn't change how he felt though.

Lisa sighed. He was so moody. It made it extremely difficult to talk to him sometimes. "Alright, listen, we don't know what we're doing anymore than you do, okay? But at lest we're trying. That doesn't mean we aren't gonna screw it up sometimes but we're trying. You need to stop jumping to conclusions about how we feel and what we're thinking."

He nodded. "Yeah okay... I'm sorry I yelled." He hated losing his temper, he hated feeling like he wasn't in control. He needed that foundation, without it he was afraid he'd go spinning off out of control and nothing would bring him back. That scared him more than anything else.

"It's okay. I understand."

"But I am in love with him."

"Shuuhei-"

"I am. I know... I'm not old enough yet to know love, but I do. I love him. That's not gonna change. I promise." He turned on his side away from her to face the wall. He needed to calm down, he was scared of losing his temper and he didn't like himself much when he did.

Lisa took a deep breath. She wasn't going to convince him otherwise at this point so it seemed futile to try. After a few weeks... she looked down at Shuuhei... months, definitely months, but after a few he'd feel better, he'd understand more. She could talk to him about this again then. There were other things she needed to talk to him about and going around and around with him didn't really make sense.

Lisa took a deep breath. She supposed it couldn't be avoided anymore, not in light of recent events, and considering her house mates she was definitely the best option to do it. Shinji was too over the top, Hatchi was too shy, Hiyori didn't know enough herself, Mashiro was probably the worse person to talk to about it since she had all her own views on the subject, Love was too reserved, Kensei was definitely out, and she didn't think Rose would make it through the conversation without his head exploding. That just left her and obviously it was a talk Shuuhei needed to have. "So, where did you learn about all that stuff?"

Shuuhei flushed. He'd thought the conversation to be over, this he certainly wasn't expecting. She was going to be pissed. "I... uh... do I really have to answer that question?"

Lisa raised her eyebrow. "After that response, yes, you do."

"But..."

"Shuuhei." There was the slightest bit of a threat in her voice and Shuuhei cringed.

"I... you... don't be mad at me okay?"

"Why does everyone keep saying that to me today?"

"Yeah well... umm... you know those... the books and stuff you always get?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Yes."

"Well I... sometimes I would... 'borrow' some of them."

"You what! Shuuhei!"

He flinched. "I'm sorry. I just..." He pushed off the bed again and pulled his legs in front of him, too afraid to turn around. "No one... none of you would _talk_ to me. It didn't matter what I said or asked... everyone always got this really odd look on their face and told me to go do something else. I just... I didn't know what to _do_... and... I'm really sorry, okay?"

Lisa took a deep breath. "I... it's okay Shuuhei." In hindsight that wasn't the best solution for them. Maybe if someone had actually gotten over their embarrassment and taken the time to talk to him they wouldn't be in this situation. Lisa sighed and blew out a puff of hair raising her bangs. No, even then it probably wouldn't have helped. Shuuhei was beyond smitten, still it was something they should have done a long time ago. "It's our fault. We should've answered your questions." Lisa turned him around but he still didn't met her eyes so she ran her hand down his cheek to make him look up. "It's just, it's hard for us to see you growing up. To us you're still that scared little boy we couldn't get to come out of the corner."

Shuuhei pouted. "But I'm not."

"You're right. You're not a little boy anymore."

"You... you're really not mad at me?"

Lisa shook her head. "No. It wouldn't be fair of me to be mad at you when none of us would listen to you. We didn't give you much of a choice. But not again," she added sternly.

Shuuhei nodded quickly.

"Okay." Lisa took a deep breath. "I guess none of us wanted to admit that you were changing." Lisa paused. "But... now we have to. So, you have questions." She paused again and he nodded slowly still hugging his knees to his chest. "Alright, ask me."

Shuuhei looked up at her, his eyes very large. "What?"

"I'm here now Shuuhei. Wha'daya wanna know?"

"But..." He flushed brightly and put his head down against his knees. "I... I don't wanna talk about it with you."

"What? Why not?" Shuuhei mumbled something incoherent and Lisa sighed. "Okay, I have no idea what you just said, but this is how it is, you have this conversation with me or no one at all. Understood?"

"But..." Again Shuuhei couldn't look at her. "You... you're a girl..." He said softly.

Hearing that Lisa actually laughed. "So?"

Shuuhei pouted at her. "I'm not," he stated defensively.

"Well, even if you don't think I know enough about the male side, which, by the way I do, isn't there anything you want to know about girls?"

Shuuhei just shrugged. "I duknow..."

"Okay then." She obviously needed a different approach. "Well I can safely assume you like guys at least. Do you _like_ girls?"

Biting his lip Shuuhei shrugged again. "I... I duknow... I mean... the thing is... I've only ever liked one person and that's been since I was nine, even if it was just a crush back then... it's more than that now. I never really... I mean, other people just... I never really noticed anyone else." He felt frustrated. His emotions back then had been so confusing. He knew he really cared for Kensei but much beyond that he had no idea. It wasn't until recently that he started to realize just what his feelings were, let alone wanting to act on them.

Lisa pursed her lips. That made things a bit more difficult. "Okay... Ah, so when you were borrowing my stuff, what kinds of books did you take?"

Shuuhei blushed bright red again and mumbled against his knees. " I guess mostly the girly ones. But I don't know whether that was because I had a preference. You didn't have very many other kinds and I didn't wanna go digging through looking for anything else. I usually just took whatever was closest to the door so I wouldn't get caught."

Lisa deflated. That was surprisingly unhelpful as well. "Alright..." She took a deep breath. "You're really not making this easy."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You're supposed to be like this, I guess."

"Really?"

"I think so. Well, I mean that's how some people are. Me, I knew I liked women when I was still a little girl. But when I got older I started realizing I kind of liked men too, though not really enough to ever actually date one, look at, sleep with, sure, but they're just to much effort to keep around long term. It's something you just have to find out for yourself. Nobody else can tell you how you feel about people."

"You guys do."

Lisa tilted her head at him with a stare. "I meant in general. Anyway." Lisa took a deep breath.

"Umm... Lisa-san?"

"Yes Shuuhei."

"I really appreciate that you're willing to talk to me and all, but it's so sudden and now I can't think of anything at all." His blush seemed to double. "Do... do you think maybe you could give me a couple days to think and stuff and... and then maybe we could do this again?"

Lisa smiled. "That's actually a very good idea. You're a pretty smart kid, you know that?"

He nodded at her.

"Ha. Of course you do." Lisa stood up and stretched. "Well, take your time, Shuuhei. But don't feel like you have to ask me everything all at once. If you miss something or forget you can always come back and ask me more." She smiled. "You come find me when you're ready to talk alright?"

He nodded. "Thank you Lisa-san."

"Don't mention it." She felt better about the situation. At lest a little bit. Sure, Kensei she was still very mad at him, and she knew that it would take Shuuhei time to feel better but all in all she felt everything would work out in the end. If nothing else Kensei did feel horribly guilty and that was a nice thought. She turned and opened the door closing it quietly behind her.

As she left, Shuuhei flopped back on the bed with a sigh. He did want someone to talk to, but he didn't really feel comfortable talking to a woman. But she had been kind, and more understanding then he'd expected. Honestly, he'd thought she was going to kill him when he told her about the books. But she hadn't reacted like that. She hadn't really reacted badly at all, that is if you discount what he told her about how it had gone with Kensei. When she brought it up he just panicked. If he'd actually thought about it, he would have probably figured that Kensei wouldn't say that stuff, he'd have no reason to.

Shuuhei sighed. It would be nice to have someone actually talk to him though, even if it was a girl. He had no doubt she knew as much as she said, but that didn't change how awkward it felt for him. In the end he would have really rather been able to talk to Kensei. Unfortunately, that didn't seem to be an option anymore, not that it was really an option in the first place.

Rolling on his side Shuuhei started running his fingers around in a pattern on his blanket. He really hadn't wanted anyone else to know about what had happened between them. Part of him was still so happy about it, but after... he'd expected him to be angry with him, but after last night... and then what happened in the kitchen... Shuuhei wasn't even sure what he felt about it. Hurt was probably at the top of the list but after that everything was just a big jumbled mess. With a groan he flopped back over onto his back. He didn't know what to think anymore. He knew how he felt for Kensei, regardless of what anyone else told him. But he was starting to wonder if it was something that would ever happen. His chest hurt and he felt tears well in his eyes.

Why had he done that? Why would he come into his room like that and then just shove him away again? He didn't get it. It was so frustrating and he didn't know what to _do_. Right now he hurt so much he could hardly breathe from the tightness in his chest. He had no idea how to sort through all the emotions. He knew Kensei may never return his feelings and he'd done his best to deal with that. But this... the back and forth, he didn't know how to handle that. He wiped furiously at his eyes and turned to his side again.

Looking over to the far corner a very small smile appeared on his face and he got up out of bed. He walked over to the large stuffed bear sitting on the floor and picked it up. Rose had got it for him on his first birthday with them. It had been just over five years now. Turning, he walked back to the bed and flopped down on it again this time holding the stuffed toy to his chest. It had been a long time since the bear had left it's corner, but at the time he'd gotten it Shuuhei took it everywhere. That had stopped around the time he turned thirteen. Still, even if he wasn't carrying it around anymore the toy brought him comfort and right now that was really what he needed.

He could get over this, he told himself. He'd never honestly believed anything would happen in the first place. He could go back to that. It would take him time, but he was sure he could go back there. Just as long as there were no more nights like the one last night he'd be able to get through this.

~Tsuduku~


End file.
